


Princes Of Nothing At All

by DontCallMeStraightOrCis



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: And talk about sex quite a bit, But no sex takes places, I really don't know, M/M, This is a sex free fan fic, idk - Freeform, they swear a lot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2018-11-08 03:44:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 33,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11073378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontCallMeStraightOrCis/pseuds/DontCallMeStraightOrCis
Summary: There were times were Percy wanted to kill Piper, and this was one of them.It's the opening night for their production of Romeo and Juliet, but both Juliet's are out of commission, leaving only one person behind who knows the lines, and was only even there because of Piper: Percy.And if that wasn't bad enough, his crush is playing Romeo.





	1. Romeo and Julian

**Author's Note:**

> I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING FUCK

Opening night was always a nightmare; this was a fact that anyone who was apart of the drama club learnt early on. It was a nightmare you had to live through though, or else the show would completely fall apart. And if the show fell apart, the director would make your life a living hell.

Percy watched the actors run about, some in full costume and makeup, others only half dressed, holding their scripts as they desperately went over those few lines that just wouldn't stick in their mind. He watched people dash about with props, ushering the actors on or off the stage, and looking ready to faint.

Thankfully, he only worked the curtains, so he escaped being a major part of the chaotic mess. And he wouldn't be there at all if his friend hadn't dragged him into his disaster, complaining about how she wanted to join but didn't know anyone in there. Yet even when she did make friends, she wouldn't let him leave. Piper was a dick like that.

Speaking of Piper, he couldn't see her anywhere, which was bad considering she was the main character. Romeo and Juliet wasn't exactly Romeo and Juliet without Juliet after all. 

The 'co-'director was dashing about, yelling loudly, looking a flustered mess. Her eyes latched onto Percy and she ran over, looking close to screaming. Percy wished he could just sit her down, give her some tea and tell her to relax, but now wasn't the time. He could mother his best friend once the show was over.

"Percy! Where the fuck is Piper?" Annabeth asked.

"I haven't seen her, sorry," he replied.

Annabeth groaned loudly and tugged harshly on her hair. Annabeth's hair used to be long in chaotic curls that made her look like a princess, now it was roughly chopped short by her own hand after long stressful nights where it got too annoying and the scissors were closer than the nearest bobble.

Just then, the lights and sound guy popped his head around the corner, grimacing. Uh oh, Percy thought, this doesn't look good.

"Piper's in the toilet, throwing up," Leo announced.

"Great, fucking great," Annabeth growled, making Leo hide back around the corner, "She can't go out like that! Where's in the stand-in?"

"Silena's stuck in traffic," Leo squeaked.

Percy winced and wondered just how the hell Annabeth was going to save the day this time. It wasn't as though they could call it off after all (not that Annabeth would ever even consider that option).

"Right," Annabeth said loudly, getting everyone's attention, "Who the fuck knows Piper's lines and hasn't got a major role? We've got no Juliet so we need a substitute, quick."

It was then that Piper wandered in, looking absolutely awful. There was definitely no way that she could play Juliet in that state; she looked as though she was about to faint in any moment.

"Percy knows my lines," Piper slurred.

Percy froze, and then glared at Piper. He didn't even want to be here doing the curtains– he wanted to be at home, watching a film and eating junk food – never mind acting! He'd never even been on the stage before, well, not in front of other people anyone. Sure, he'd always came to rehearsals, read over and helped Piper with her lines, and once stood there and jokingly reciting Piper's lines back to her when she's got a sore throat to help her remember them, but that was a lot different than being live in front of god knows how many people, acting seriously.

"Yeah, but-"

"But what?" Annabeth cut in. "You know the lines, you can definitely fit into Piper's outfit, and we have no other alternative, so why not?"

"I've never been on stage before! What if I freeze up?"

"You have been on stage before," she argued, "When Rachel went to one of their protest things and dragged you onto the stage to help their make a point you didn't freeze up once, even though it was completely on the spot."

How Annabeth even remembered that, Percy didn't know since he couldn't remember it. All of Rachel's protests blurred into one massive one in his mind, and he couldn't remember for the life of him what happened in them.

"Yeah, you totally did," Rachel chimed in.

Percy at that moment hated their background and props designer, and wished they were the one being sick or stuck in the car.

"But-"

"No fucking buts," Annabeth snapped, "Unless it's yours getting up, putting on Juliet's dress and going to get your makeup done."

Everyone looked at Percy desperately and hopefully, and despite the thumping of his heart, he couldn't say no. He'd hate to ruin everyone hard work just because he was a little afraid... but what if he forgot her lines? What if he didn't fit in the dress? 

"But-"

"It's you or nothing."

Percy opened his mouth to argue, but found himself being whisked away by Lacy, the costume girl, to get changed. He was slightly disappointed to discover that Piper's dress fit him very well, only being a little tight around the waist and loose at the chest, and that with a wig and makeup on, he looked a lot like Piper (Drew was an amazing make-up artist though, so it wasn't surprising that she had done such a good job). If he got the accent right, he could have passed as being Piper's non-existent twin sister or, to someone who wouldn't really be able to see clearly without glasses, Piper herself.

He shook his head and took a deep breath, trying to catch up with everything that had just happened. Not for the first time in his life did he wish that everything would slow down, so he didn't have to spend time trying to catch up.

"Think you're going to survive this, Julian?" Rachel teased.

"No."

"Neither do I," they answered honestly, "I hope I'm wrong though."

Rachel was hardly ever wrong, which made Percy feel worse. He appreciated the honesty though; it was better than people lying through their teeth while planning his funeral in their heads.

"I hate Piper so much," he sighed.

"Well just think of it this way; if you manage to survive long enough then you'll be able to kiss Jason!"

For the second time that night, Percy froze. Oh shit, he thought, I'm fucked. How did he forget? Jason Grace, his crush of practically forever, was playing Romeo. Romeo who, as Juliet, Percy would have to kiss. Percy would have to kiss his crush.

"Fuck."

Immediately, Percy tried to escape.

"Clarisse!" Rachel yelled. "He's trying to escape!"

"Fuck you!" Percy cried as Clarisse ran in and held him in a tight grip. "Let me fucking go, I can't do this!"

"Stop squirming, Blofis," Clarisse snapped, "And what's got you worked up now?"

"I have to kiss Jason!" 

"So what?"

Percy gave up fighting and silently accepted his fate. There was no way in hell he was going to admit his crush to Clarisse of all people, that would kill him. She would tease him relentlessly - she'd probably tease him to his death, to his grave if she had the time – and that was way worse than the idea of having to... kiss Jason.

"I thought you'd already had your sexuality crisis," Clarisse huffed, "And that you'd got over the thought of being kinda gay."

He bitterly remembered the disaster that was his sexuality crisis after he'd realised that little him had not looked up to Luke, but fancied him. It had taken him longer than he liked to admit to get over it, and accept that he was bisexual. But it was a big thing to realise about yourself, he reasoned, so it was reasonable reaction.

"I-I have!"

"Then what is it?"

He was saved by Annabeth, who swooped in and demanded to have Percy ready and waiting in the sides in one minute exactly. He thanked god for creating Annabeth and ran after her, already feeling ready for death.

She looked him over and nodded, seemingly approving of what she saw, which made him relax somewhat.

"You look like Piper's taller and more masculine twin," she commented, "By the way, she's better now, though she still can't be Juliet. She's working the lights now."

"Hurray."

Annabeth glared at him, but the thought of what would be behind the heavy red curtains terrified him more.

"...Jason doesn't know it's you by the way."

"Wait, what?"

"He was in the toilet during all of that, and we decided not to tell him, just in case he got... iffy."

Just in case he was a homophobic fucker who didn't want to kiss a boy, Percy translated. Was it better or worse that Jason didn't know it was him, he wondered. Better, he decided. He could get through this night, pretend it never happened, and then let Piper take over tomorrow when she got better. It could be something to look back on and laugh about in the future.

"Think you can handle this?" Annabeth asked.

"I haven't got much choice, have I?"

She looked worried, but still managed a mischievous grin.

"That's the spirit... Julian."

"Oh my fucking god, shut the fuck up."

She just snickered under her breath and patted his back sympathetically. Then she disappeared to go bother some other people, and someone else took her place. A certain someone who made Percy's heart skip a beat and his breath hitch.

"Hey Pipes, you ready?"

Percy coughed and tried to remember all those times he had pretended to be Piper on the phone, either for a prank or to get her out of trouble.

"No way in hell, but we're here now."

Jason nodded and looked away, and Percy let out a sigh of relief at knowing that he hasn't been caught. Now all he had to do was keep his cool throughout the whole play while remembering Piper's lines and her accent... easy.

"How tall are those heels by the way?" Jason asked. "You're nearly as tall as me!"

Why nobody thought to let Jason wear his glasses or get contacts, Percy didn't know, but at that moment, he didn't care. As long as Jason could get through this without seeing perfectly clearly and figuring out that Piper wasn't his Juliet tonight, then it didn't matter.

"Pretty damn high," Percy tried to laugh, "My feet are going to be killing me at the end of the night."

Jason winced at the thought, and sympathetically pat Percy's back. Fuck, Percy thought, how the fuck am I going to keep this up?

"That sucks... want me to drive you home tonight to save your poor feet from more walking?"

He spoke in a slow way, in a hopeful way, like he really wanted to walk Percy home, and Percy fought back the urge to scream. Of course. Jason had a crush on Piper, and he was hoping to spend more time with her tonight. It suddenly made sense why Jason abruptly decided that he wanted to try acting after Piper joined the group, after spending hours complaining about how he didn't understand his mother's obsession with acting and the spotlight.

Percy couldn't say yes, obviously. For one, he couldn't actually go with Jason because once the show was over, he was back to being Percy. Secondly, he didn't want to make the decision for Piper.

"...Ask me after the show, after we've got dressed," he said, "I'll see if I can manage it or not."

Jason's smile fell a bit, but Percy had to hand it to him that it was subtle.

"Alright then. I'll guess we'll just have to wait and see."

"Yeah."

Out of the corner of his eye, Percy watched Jason try to real in his disappointment. And even though this wasn't the best of situations, Percy couldn't help but be awed by Jason. He looked like a Greek god, all done up in make-up, and not even the silly clothes could ruin that. They couldn't ruin the square jaw, the pretty sky blue eyes, the broad shoulders, or the kind curl to his lips. Nothing could ruin that.

Percy shook his head and took a deep breath.

Jason was interested in Piper, and didn't even know that Percy existed. There was no point in dreaming about the unobtainable. 

Then, the music was playing and Calypso, the narrator, began to speak. The curtains began to open, and Percy tried to remember how to breathe.

***

As soon as the show was over, Percy was dead to the world. His feet ached to hell and back, his scalp itched, his skin was burning, his face felt stiff, and his waist hurt a little from the tight dress. In all, he felt like shit.

He dragged himself out of the toilet, discreetly handing the outfit to Leo as Drew swooped in to clean off his makeup.

"You actually weren't awful out there," Drew told him.

Coming from Drew, that was a massive compliment, and made him feel somewhat better. She was blunt and bitter, and found it hard to give out meaningful compliments, but she tried.

"Thanks. And your makeup skills weren't that bad either."

Her lips quirked in a small little smile as she finished wiping off his lipstick and chucked the wipe into the bin.

"It's a shame you don't wear makeup more often Jackson, it really suits you. Makes you look like you're not dead inside."

"Too much effort," he mumbled, "Besides, don't people always talk about how it's important to show off the real you?"

"Idiots, the lot of them... Jason's already left by the way, so it's safe to come out."

And with that, she strutted off like she was a queen and owned the world. He and Drew had a...interesting relationship. One filled with brutally honest and bitter remarks, and Percy acting as her model to practise makeup on and cover in her new creations. But he appreciated their friendship nevertheless; not many people were as willing to be brutally be honest with him.

Percy dragged himself out, yawning loudly, praying that he would be able to escape outside without anyone bugging him. Thankfully, he did, and was quickly swept up into a hug by his parents and his younger siblings; Tyson, Ella and Blue.

"You did amazing Percy!" Paul gasped.

"Why didn't you tell me you were playing Juliet?" Sally demanded to know.

The younger ones screamed some nonsense, hugging whatever part of Percy they could reach, and Percy rolled his eyes at them.

"It wasn't exactly planned," he huffed, "Piper got ill, her substitute got stuck in traffic and I was the only person who knew Juliet's part well enough to play it. Now can you please let me go? I'm kinda of suffocating here."

Reluctantly, Percy was let go, and he swayed tiredly on his feet. Paul was beaming, indescribably proud of his son, and already planning to encourage him to take another major role in the next play.

This group had been created by Paul, but over time had been taken over by Annabeth and some of the others, to the point where he only really showed up when called in by Annabeth, or when he was curious to see how things were going. He didn't seem to have a problem with this though, and if anything, was proud of his students for what they could achieve and organise without him. And from day one, he had wanted Percy to join. He and Percy had bonded over plays and musicals when Paul was first introduced into the family, and Paul was sure Percy was made to be on stage. And finally seeing his kinda-boy on stage had just made his day.

"I think we better head home before he falls asleep dear," Sally chuckled as Percy leaned against her, eyes closed.

"Sounds like a plan."

By the time they got home, Percy was already fast asleep.


	2. Piper Gulit Trips My Crush Into Spending Time With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Piper... buddy... what you doing?

The next morning, Percy lay on his back in his bed, grateful for it being the weekend. 

As soon as he had woken up, Percy had played the events of last night over in his head again and again and again, dying a little more inside each time. Sure, Drew had said he wasn't terrible (which was the same as telling him that he should have won an Oscar for his performance) but he was reluctant to believe her. He was sure that he'd lost Piper's accent more than once, and had stuttered through at least two lines. 

And the kiss.

There was only one in this version (Percy couldn't tell whether he was grateful or disappointed) and even that one kiss wasn't much of a kiss either. It was a movie scene kiss, with a subtly hand covering half of the lips that wouldn't be seen by the audience. And even then, the half of their lips that weren't covered didn't really touch; Percy wouldn't let them. He tried to make it as subtle as possible, the pulling back before they had even really kissed, and he hoped no one said anything. He had seen Jason, for a split second, frown in confusion before remembering himself and smiling again.

But still, they had almost kissed. And still, Jason did not even know he existed. How the fuck was that fair?

Percy's phone began to buzz annoyingly, and he found it was Rachel calling him.

"Hey loser, we're celebrating the fact that we didn't cause world war three with our play; you coming?" Rachel said loudly, sounding way too happy for Percy to handle.

"When and where?"

"McDonalds at one."

He scrunched up his nose. While he was absolutely fine with having McDonalds, but it didn't seem like it was be anyone's first choice; Annabeth and Jason were health fanatics, Rachel and Piper didn't like how long they had to wait for the vegetarian meals, Drew couldn't stand all the kids that hung out there, etc etc. Not to mention, it was a stark difference from the places they usually went after a show.

"McDonalds? Not very... fancy."

"Hey, it was Annabeth's idea, not mine," they snickered, "According to her, she's going to die if she doesn't have a fucking big mac."

"Sounds dramatic."

"You didn't see how she was when you were on stage last night; she bit her knuckles so hard they started bleeding and I think she literally ripped out a clump of her hair when Jason nearly tripped."

"Jesus," I said, "Um, yeah, I'll be there."

"I'll pick you up then."

And they ended the call before Percy could say anything else, not that he had a problem with that. He liked not having to go through the whole 'who's going to hang up?' ordeal, it just made life a little easier. Rachel was always good with things like that; they made the annoying decisions for Percy.

He forced himself up and out of bed, chucking on whatever clothes were nearest since this obviously wasn't the type of meal to dress up for, and strolled downstairs.

Blue was playing with the slime she and Percy had made the other day, while Tyson played with the new creation Leo had made for him and Ella read a book that was bigger than her lap. Their massive black dog Mrs. O'Leary was laying down beside them, grumbling a little as their kitten Blackjack played with Mrs' O'Leary's tail. Sally and Paul were making breakfast, or least they had been. Now they were just twirling around to same old song playing on their battered radio, singing away and looking ten years younger.

It had taken a while, but Percy was happy to finally say that he had his dream family.

"Morning," he said to the little ones.

They looked up from their various activities to wave and smile and repeat his word back to him, before going back to being absorbed by their objects. There were same days when Percy wondered if there was a god up there, because it couldn't be a coincidence that all three of them were autistic, even if two were adopted. Perhaps there was, and they wanted to make sure that these three had a home were they would truly belong and be accepted in. If so, Percy wanted to thank that god for giving him the best siblings on planet earth.

He dragged himself onwards to the kitchen, stealing Paul's unattended cup of cold tea and the half empty packet of cookies that were soft from being left open the night before. Nobody stopped him, and Percy smiled to himself as he got away with his unhealthy breakfast.

He sat down next to Mrs O'Leary and immediately found himself with a lap-full of Blackjack, who squirmed and twisted about like the annoying thing he was.

Like this, Percy could completely forget the events of last night. He could pretend that nothing happened, that it was all some weird dream that he would recall later on to make some people laugh.

And then Piper stormed in.

"Morning all!"

At that moment, Percy cursed his mum for giving Piper a spare key.

She got her own chorus of 'mornings' and strolled in with a lazy smile on her face as though she hadn't been throwing up a couple of hours before. She sat down on the sofa opposite Percy and leaned forward, looking like she was about to try and sell him a house.

"What are you doing here?" Percy asked.

"Just wanted to say congratz for last night," she shrugged, "You did amazing by the way."

Percy was reluctant to believe that was her own reason for bothering them so early in the morning. She leaned forward again, stole a cookie, and then began to smirk. Yep, Percy thought, that's what I was waiting for. Let's see how this goes.

"Jason called me up this morning," she began, "He said I did amazing last night."

"So? He still thinks it was you."

"Ah- I didn't finished," she snickered, "He also said I looked beautiful last night and asked me if I wanted to go see some new movie."

Percy choked on his food and glared at Piper. Why were they friends again? 

"Again, so?"

"I agreed but played dumb, acted like I didn't know what he was really saying, and asked if you could come along too."

"...What have you got planned McLean?"

"Well, I was thinking that I could suddenly become ill before we meet up but forget to say anything until a little while after, so you can spend some time with your Romeo."

"That's a stupid idea," he said in a deadpan tone, "He doesn't know me; as soon as he knows you're not coming, he's just going to go home."

"He will know who you are! I'll introduce you to him officially when we meet up for lunch!"

"But he'll still leave."

"Well..."

"What? What on earth did you do now Piper?"

"I may have kinda lied and said that you don't have many friends and don't get out often, and then gushed on about how excited you'd be for this."

Percy slapped a palm to his face as Piper continued to smirk.

"You guilt-tripped my crush into spending time with me."

"When you put it like that it sounds bad," she huffed.

"Because it is!"

The music quietened down, and Sally and Paul came out of the kitchen.

"What are you two bickering about now?" Sally asked, a playful tone present in her words.

"Nothing-" Percy said, just as Piper said:

"Percy's crush."

Percy stretched out and kicked her leg, a part of him hoping that it'd leave a bruise.

"Ow!"

"You deserve it," he argued, "And ignore her, she's just trying to annoy me."

"Your crush huh?" Paul said. "He's that blond guy, isn't he? The one who was playing Romeo."

Percy felt his face heat up, and picked up Blackjack to hide his face in the black fur. Why did the world want him to suffer?

"Maybe..."

"It totally is," Piper cut in.

"That was him?" Sally gasped. "Well, he was a lot more handsome than what I was expecting."

"What were you expecting?" Percy couldn't help but ask.

"Well when you said white, blond and blue-eyed, I thought it'd be someone like Octavian." 

Percy couldn't but frown at that. Ah yes, Octavian, that guy. The thought of comparing him to Jason just... well, it seemed laughable. It was like comparing a cat to a dog.

"Oh god no," Percy snorted, "He's nothing like Octavian."

Piper made a strange noise and tipped her head from side to side.

"I don't know; whenever they're near each other they looked like brothers, or cousins at least, to me."

"Shut up Piper."

"That's an awfully rude thing to say to someone who just got you a date with your crush."

"A pity meet up, not a date," he corrected her, "He's doing it out of pity, and doesn't think it's a date."

"Ever the pessimist Percy," Piper chuckled with a roll of her eyes, "Come on, have some faith in me."

"You're not a matchmaker Piper, so please stop."

"I think it's sweet," Sally commented.

"I think this is going to be interesting," Paul said.

"I hate all of you," Percy announced.

In return, he was pulled into a suffocating hug as Piper made obnoxious kissing noises and stained his cheeks with her red lipstick. Percy made a mental note to embarrass the hell out of Piper next time she was around her crush... which would be lunch time... he smiled to himself as he made a plan.

Ah yes, revenge was going to be sweet... or taste like a Big Mac at least.


	3. This is Why I Don't Befriend Heterosexuals

By the time one o'clock rolled around, Piper had long since left and Rachel was pulling up in his driveway. Their art supplies had apparently called shotgun, and so their girlfriend Reyna was forced to sit in the back, and she didn't look happy about it. Not that Reyna ever naturally looked happy; like Percy, she had resting bitch face. 

"Hello you art hoe," Percy said as he climbed in, before turning to Reyna and nodding, "Reyna."

Percy was usually the one getting angry at other people for saying stuff like that, but considering how much Rachel referred to themselves as just that, 'a pretentious, rich art hoe', it was obvious they didn't care. Besides, it wasn't like their nickname for him was exactly pleasant.

"Percy," Reyna replied, eyes trained on the world outside her window.

To most people, it would look as though the two of them could barely stand each other, but that wasn't true. They got on really well, it just didn't look it when they both scowled and frowned, talking shit about whatever was currently annoying them in a monotone voice.

"What's up merbitch?" Rachel snickered. 

"Nothing much... just that Piper's trying to set me up with Jason by guilt-tripping him into spending time with me."

"Holy shit, you serious?"

"Unfortunately, which is why I need your help."

"This sounds like it's going to be good," they said with a grin, "Spill."

"Think you can 'accidentally' bump her into Annabeth's lap when we get in? And generally embarrass her to hell and back about her crush."

"Like you need to ask."

"Are you encouraging my partner to cause trouble Jackson?" Reyna asked, watching Percy from the corner of her eye.

Percy just shrugged and grinned.

"Maybe... but I'm sure if they get too out of control that you can handle it."

A smirk grew on Reyna's face, and it didn't take a genius to work out what was going on in her mind. Or perhaps it did, and Percy just knew too much about them and their sex life to be oblivious to it. To be fair, it wasn't as though he had asked to know, it was Rachel fault for constantly calling him up to gush about it because he was the only one out of the friends who apparently didn't give a shit or found it hot.

"Percy, stop encouraging my girlfriend," Rachel whined from the front.

"Yeah yeah, you'll thank me later."

Reyna snickered and Rachel groaned loudly as they came up to the McDonalds. Percy could see Rachel's grin in the mirror though as they parked up the car, telling him that he would be getting a phone call and a thank you from them later that day.

They got out and immediately, Reyna and Rachel gravitated together like magnets. Reyna put an arm around her shoulder, while Rachel slipped an arm around Reyna's waist. Percy walked beside them, thinking on how strange it was that life had turned out the way it had. 

He had never expected two of his exes to turn around and announce they were gay and dating (and for one to turn around and announce that they weren't even a girl) but hey, life was like that. Pretty much every girl he dated turned out to be gay or bi or pan, and Percy had just accepted it at this point in his life. At least they found out it with him rather than some dick who'd give them hell for it or something.

Everyone else was already there and had stolen a couple of tables for them. Everyone was intently listening to Piper as she recalled some funny story, her loud words and bright eyes easily captivating everyone. But as soon as she saw them talking in, the story was paused in favour of her waving wildly and calling them over.

"Percy, Reyna, Rachel! Took your time didn't you?"

"Sorry, we would have arrived sooner if someone-" Reyna glared down at Rachel "-Hadn't insisted on finishing up their latest painting before we left."

Rachel stuck their tongue out before pulling Reyna to sit down next to a seriously sleep-deprived Annabeth, who's hair was even shorter and was now sporting eyebags. Piper was aggressively patting the seat next to her, next to Jason, but Percy decided to find a place by Drew, who was already grimacing.

"This place is disgusting," she huffed, "When's the last time this place was cleaned?"

"I don't think you want to know the answer to that," Percy answered.

She opened her mouth to say something else, but she was interrupted by Piper, who was trying to lean over her. Drew did not look happy with that, but didn't push her away.

"Oi, Percy, I didn't get around to introducing you to Romeo! Percy this is Jason, the guy who's acting as our Romeo. And Jason this is Percy, the curtain guy."

Percy glared at her before turning to Jason and forcing a smile.

"Hi."

Jason frowned at him for a before wearing a smile that made Percy's heart skip a beat. Fuck this fucking crush, he thought, I hate this.

"Hey! When did you join the group? I swear I haven't seen you before."

That did not make Percy feel any better. His fake smile dropped completely without his permission, and he leaned back as though he could hide behind Drew.

"I joined at the same time as Piper."

"O-Oh..."

Jason coughed and had the decency to blush and look sheepish. Drew however, didn't seem to be in the mood for this, as she groaned loudly and turned to Percy.

"Are you free tomorrow, pillowcase?" "Yeah, why?" "My teacher is bitching about me making so much plus-sized clothing like she can't see that I'm fat, so I need you to be my model again."

Percy relaxed and tuned out the awkward silence, focusing on Drew. He could always rely on Drew for never reading the situation and doing whatever the hell she wanted, effectively distracting Percy from whatever nightmare he was dealing with.

"She still giving you hell for that?"

"Yep!" Drew chirped in a faux-happy tone. "And as much as I'd like to tell her exactly where she can shove her size 8 dress, I can't risk it. Another fight with her and they say they're kicking me out."

"For not taking shit? Jesus, some adults are fucking stupid."

"I know right? Anyway, when are we ordering? If you're going to drag me to this shit-hole you at least should buy the food right away because the quicker we get food, the quicker we can eat, and the quicker we can leave."

"I can take a hint," Piper huffed, "Alright, shout your orders at me and I'll write them down and order for us."

Everyone did as she said, and Drew followed after her, muttering about how she didn't want to risk ruining her new dress on the possibly filthy seats. Apparently, Jason took this as a sign that Percy was free to talk to, and slipped into the seat next to him.

"Sorry," he said.

Percy looked down at the floor, at his old battered shoes, and wondered if he should have worn a different pair. No, that was stupid, they made him fit right in here. They were the perfect pair to wear.

"I mean it," Jason continued, "I guess I was too caught up in the play and Piper - no, that's no excuse."

"Whatever, it's not a big deal."

It was, to Percy at least, but he wasn't going to admit it.

"...Could we start again then?"

Percy didn't want to say yes, he just wanted to get his food then go home and pretend none of this had ever happened, but he just couldn't refuse. Jason looked too hopeful, and Percy was too far gone for him.

"I suppose we could."

Percy looked away before he could see Jason's bright smile, watching people enter and leaving the restaurant in their own special way. But then Jason coughed, and Percy had to face the smile. He was holding his hand out to Percy, and looked like a child on Christmas morning.

"Hi, my name is Jason Grace. It's nice to meet you."

Percy hesitated before taking the hand, shaking it for a split second, and then sharply pulling away. They had done much more last night, but it still made his stomach flip.

"Percy Blofis," he said, "Nice to meet you too."

"Blowfish?" Jason snorted.

"Fis, Blofis, not fish."

Maybe it was silly, but Percy was a little protective over his new last name. He didn't care if he sounded like a carbon copy of Paul when he said it, like a broken record to his friends every time he had to correct someone, he was going to make people say it right.

"Uh, right, sorry," Jason coughed, "Nice name."

Thankfully, it was then that Piper and Drew returned, and Rachel turned to give Percy a wink. He quickly ignored Jason in favour of whipping out his phone to film what was going to happen.

"Alright, it's going to take- whoa!"

Rachel stuck their leg out in front of Piper, sending Piper flying into Annabeth, who looked as though she had been sleeping. It was a comical scene that Percy laugh as Piper squeaked loudly, looking flustered, as Annabeth tried to work out what was happening and where she was. And when Annabeth did work that out, she immediately went red and froze.

Drew elegantly walked passed them and sat on the other side of Percy.

"What elegance, what grace," she joked in a deadpan tone.

"Don't you mean what gayce?" Leo pipped in, wriggling his eyebrows like it was truly an amazing joke.

Next to him, Calypso did a face palm.

"Why am I friends with you again?" Calypso asked.

"Because I'm hotter than hell," Leo said loudly, flexing his non-existent muscles. 

"Ah yes, because my taken gay ass would so be interested in that," she said.

Leo wore a silly pout and dramatically crossed his arms.

"You're no fun."

"I'm sure Drew would say otherwise."

She sent her girlfriend a wink, who blushed a little and winked back. Leo made a gagging noise and pretended to throw up.

"Uch, why are you all so in love? It's honestly sickening how sweet and love-dovey you all are," he complained.

"I'm sure you'll find someone," Jason commented.

Leo gasped loudly and slammed a heart to his chest, looking thoroughly offended. 

It appeared as though everyone had forgotten about Piper and Annabeth, well, except for Rachel, but they were so quiet that Percy couldn't hear a thing. Thank god for Reyna, who was subtly filming the whole thing while pretending to be inspecting the state of the table.

"I'm offended Jason," Leo exclaimed, "How soon you forget!"

Jason looked around, a confused expression on his face, and Percy decided to take pity since no one else would.

"He's aroace Jason; he's as interested in sex and romance as I am in English." 

Jason went red again.

"Sorry-"

"Thank you Percy!" Leo cut him off. "At least someone cares enough about me to remember that I'm a hopeless aromantic."

"What a tragedy," Percy joked.

He knew what the reply would be before he even finished his sentence, but he was desperate for a distraction, so he happily invited the incoming joke.

"Yeah it is... for all the people who want a piece of this!" Leo laughed loudly, gesturing to his whole body.

Percy rolled his eyes and flipped him off. He was thankful for all these distractions though; it was difficult to concentrate on his crush when so much was going on around him.

"I-I do care!" Jason argued, a little late.

"Ugh, this is why I don't befriend heterosexuals," Leo huffed, "They always forget the important things... and yet you're still my friend."

"You mean none of your other friends are straight?" Jason asked, looking as though he was surprised by the idea of non-straight people clumping together in a group where they could be themselves without being judged.

"Absolutely none," Leo said.

Jason looked at Percy from the corner of his eye and subtly jerked his head in Percy's direction. Percy was too busy dealing with Drew and Calypso, who were apparently teaming up to make Drew's new creation that Percy would wear, to notice.

Leo thought for a moment, wondering if Percy would be okay with him answering that question. Eventually he decided that he would be, remembering those few times Percy had asked someone to slip it into the conversation when talking to a guy he liked.

"Bi as fuck," Leo whispered.

Jason's eyes widened, as though this was again surprising to him, and nodded.

"When the fuck is the food getting here?" Rachel suddenly asked, very loudly.

"Language Red!" Leo called out. "There's children here!"

Rachel rolled their eyes, but as they didn't swear for the rest of the meal, it appeared that they did somewhat care. And as if the cooks had heard their complaints, the food started arriving. And then there was no room for talking as they dived into their meals.


	4. Gays Are a Fucking Miracle of Jesus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico is a good friend, Clovis is a sleepy boyfriend

Percy ended up slipping away from the group early than expected after Annabeth had fallen asleep for the third time. He got an Uber and took her back home, leaving in her in the hands of her equally tired cousin without an explanation. And even though it was a good long walk from her place to his, he still chose to walk. It'd give him time to talk to a certain someone without anyone overhearing after all...

He typed in the familiar number as he began to walk, only waiting a few seconds before someone picked up.

"What's up Julian?"

"Shut up dick."

Nico laughed quietly, and Percy took that as a sign that he wasn't alone. He always laughed loudly unless there was someone else with him.

"Didn't interrupt something, did I?"

"No, unless you count Clovis sleeping as 'something'," he snickered, "I swear he only loves me for my bed sometimes."

"How tragic."

"It is... but seriously, what's up?"

As strange as it might be to some considering their past, Nico was the only Percy really felt comfortable talking to about stuff like this. He understood and was blunt. Also, he was one of the only few out of the group who actually liked guys, which was a plus. There was Annabeth, but it was a bit awkward talking to your ex about your crush of the same gender; it was why he never directly teased her about Piper. And Calypso, but that was a no for the same reason. There was Piper, but as shown, she liked to help out a bit too much. And there was Frank, but he was still a bit too shy about his sexuality to feel comfortable talking about that sort of stuff, and he was asexual so wasn't comfortable talking about any sexual.

So Nico it was.

"Piper," Percy said, "She's trying to trick Jason into going on a date with me, even though he obviously likes her and is straight."

"Come on Percy, hasn't this friendship group taught you anything?" Nico tutted. "Queer until proven straight, my friend."

Percy couldn't help but snicker at that phrase. It was one that Leo had created, and it was now a common phrase to be used in the group. It was one of Leo's best jokes, although it didn't quite beat some others that he had made.

"I know, but you didn't seem him today, looking like we were a fucking miracle of Jesus because none of us were straight."

"Ooo, give me a second, I need to write them down," he said, "'Gays are a fucking miracle of Jesus'; amazing. Bet Rachel will love to slap that on a sign next time we go to Pride."

"Of course they will; lesbians love signs."

"Obviously... anyway, you do know that you can just say no to this not-date, right? Just fake it if you're that nervous, say you're ill, and I'll let you hide over at mine. Then I can kick your ass at Mario Cart again while my boyfriend cheers me on." 

For some reason, it didn't feel that way to Percy. He didn't feel like he could just say no, but he wasn't going to admit that.

"That wouldn't happen you know it; Clovis would fall asleep before you even did one lap."

"Shut up-" he abruptly went silent, and Percy could faintly hear someone quietly talking in the background, "Sorry, Clovis woke up."

"Say him to him for me."

"I will... but seriously, don't make yourself go through that if you really don't want to."

"I'll think about it."

"I promise I won't tell anyone."

It sounded like a childish promise, something you might say to someone you found while playing hide and seek 'I promise I won't tell anyone where you are if I get caught', and Percy couldn't help but smile. Nico used to always drag him into games of hide and seek when they were younger. Even if Percy had come over to hang out with Bianca, he and Bianca always ended up playing with Nico in whatever game he had chosen. He was good at demanding attention like that, as he energetically waved his hands about and talked about his special-edition pack of Myth magic cards. He did it less so now that he had grown up, but he'd never completely grow out of it. Percy hoped he wouldn't at least. He was fond of that kid... despite how annoying he had initially found him.

"I know you won't."

"...Why do you always fall for the blonds Percy?"

"I don't know," he chuckled, "Maybe one day I'll finally ended up with a brunet."

"If you do, they'll probably end up being your soulmate, or some cheesy shit like that... oh dude, I almost forgot to say, the new game came out!"

"What game?"

"Fnaf! Sister location! Thalia and Reyna are coming around to play it with me tonight; you in?"

He should say no since he was meant to be helping out with the lights... but Piper would be on stage tonight, Silena would make sure not to be late again and knew enough about the curtains to handle it. Besides, Percy thought he deserved a break after what he had been forced to go through the night before.

"Like I would say no to opportunity to hear you scream."

"I-I don't scream!"

"Yeah, sure you don't buddy."

"Shut up Blofis."

"Never," Percy smirked. Nico laughed, and then someone else was trying to call him. "Call you back Neeks; Piper's trying to call me."

"I told you not to call me that!" Nico complained just before the call ended.

Percy shook his head and answered the second call, just waiting for Piper to give him hell about what happened at the restaurant.

"Save it McLean, I'm not listening. Besides, aren't you happy? You got to sit in your crush's lap-"

"I-It's not Piper."

Nope, it definitely wasn't. Unless she somehow had a voice drop and accent change. Nope, that was definitely not her.

"Uh, Jason? Why are you using Piper's phone?"

His voice was different on the phone, as voices always are, and it felt weird to be talking to him like this. Jason barely knew Percy, so why was he calling up Percy? On Piper's phone nevertheless?

"Mine's dead."

"...So why are you calling me?"

"Um, Piper told you about going to see a movie, right?"

"Yeah."

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay with the choice."

"...I know you just wanted a date with Piper. I'll say I'm ill and leave you two alone if you want."

Percy wasn't quite sure why he was saying that since Piper wasn't going to show up anyway. 

"There's no point is there really," he chuckled, "You said so yourself that she liked someone else, Annabeth right? It's only going to be awkward for the both of us if you don't show up."

Great, so Jason wanted him as a brick wall basically. As someone to divide him from Piper and distract him so he didn't have to seem rude by destroying his own offer for a get-together.

"...Are you sure?"

"I'm definitely sure. Besides, you seem nice... I think I'd like to let to know you."

Percy felt his face flush at that. At the words, and how gently spoken they were... he was probably just making sure he didn't disturb someone or didn't want someone to question his masculinity.

"Promise to pay for my popcorn and we have a deal," Percy joked.

"Deal."

He stopped walking for a second, before realising that it must look strange, and began walking once again.

"I didn't mean it literally dude."

"I did. I think it's only fair."

"You don't need-"

"I know I don't need to, but I want to... please?"

"Are you really that desperate to make it up to me," he joked.

"Yes-" came the immediate reply, that made Percy stumble as he narrowly avoided walking into a lamppost.

"Oh... I'd feel bad making you pay though."

"You're not making me do anything... dude-" it sounded as though he rarely said that word, or at least like he felt it wasn't the right word to use there "-I'm choosing to do this."

"Look, can we argue this later when I'm not trying to avoid walking into lamposts?"

"Um yeah, sure. Can I get your number from Piper then? So I can carry on telling you that I will pay for your popcorn."

"S-Sure thing."

This sounded an awful lot like flirting to Percy, and that thought made him abruptly end the call without so much as a goodbye. He couldn't think like that; Jason was straight, liked Piper and just wanted to be friends with Percy. Nothing more. And Percy wasn't going to ruin it by letting himself think about dates and flirting and relationships. If he couldn't avoid Jason, then he'd befriend him and leave it at that. Hopefully if he befriended him, Percy would discover some horrific thing about Jason that would immediately dispel the crush. He could dream at least.

He immediately called Nico back up and told me everything that had just happened.

"...I don't know Percy, that doesn't sound very straight to me. I mean if that guy isn't interested, then you must have a very strong gay aura in order to influence a straight guy over the phone."

"I guess I have a strong gay aura then," Percy chuckled, "I mean, it would explain a lot. Remember that time when that guy was so totally sure that I was the gay one out of us?"

"Oh my god, that was priceless," Nico laughed, "But honestly I'm kind of jealous of you. Your aura truly brings all the boys to the yard."

"Sounds like an invasion; better call the cops."

"You're such a dick," Nico said in a strangely fond way.

"You are too, that's why we're friends; we balance each other out." 

"That sounds like an awfully cheesy thing to say to someone who just called you a dick."

"Shut up, I'm trying to make our friendship sound all symbolic and shit."

"Save the symbolic shit for tonight will you? By the way, you're playing the game while Bianca and I do our theorising shit, Reyna tries to work out strategies and Thalia steals out food."

"Replacing our head strategist with Reyna? Annabeth will kill you when she finds out."

"Don't care, she needs to fucking sleep."

"True, true... I won't tell if you won't."

"Sounds like a plan to me-" Nico suddenly let out a loud squeak "-Uh, C-Clovis is awake and wants my attention."

"I'll see you tonight then," Percy chuckled, "You know, if Clovis hasn't figured out a way to hug you to death by then!"

"Percy!"

Percy ended the call just as he stopped outside his house and sighed. He couldn't be more grateful for being friends with that gay, Lady Gaga-obsessed goth; he always knew how to cheer Percy up.


	5. Thalia The Poptart Theif

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO I don't know when the next chapter will be up because it was on my hard drive... which isn't working... which is especially annoying since I have like, the next few chapters ready to publish, but since I'm missing this one chapter and can't remember what happened in it, I'm not sure when I will be able to put up the next chapter

He woke up the next morning with an awkward ache in his neck and back, and found that he had fallen asleep on the couch. Nico was strewn out across him, Reyna asleep on the beanbag in front of them, and Thalia was nowhere to be seen. However, if the music pumping out from the kitchen was any giveaway, she was awake and scrounging around for food like she owned the place.

He carefully moved Nico off him and narrowly avoided stepping on Reyna as he made his way into the kitchen, stretching and rolling his joints in hopes of shaking off the annoying ache.

Thalia was mouthing along to the song and swaying aggressively as she poured some apple juice, a tub of whatever leftover meal the Di Angelo's had left in the freezer was spinning around in the microwave, soon to become her breakfast. Bianca was sitting on the kitchen counter, painting her nails black while listening to her own music on her headphones and totally oblivious to the world around her.

"Morning Pinecone Head," he said.

Thalia nodded and waved, not reacting past that until the song had finished. And then she turned and smiled brightly, looking annoyingly awake and energetic for someone who had spent the night complaining loudly and stuffing marshmallows into her mouth.

"Morning Kelp Brain," she replied, "Nice to see someone's actually awake; I swear to god that all Nico does is sleep nowadays."

Percy decided not to comment on how that definitely wasn't the case.

"Clovis is a bad influence on him."

"The worst," she agreed with a smile, "Anyway, a little birdy told me you've got a hard on for my little bro."

Percy grimaced and began searching the cupboards for some poptarts.

"Don't say it like that, it sounds gross when you say it like that. I have a crush on him, so please just call it that, if you have to call it anything." 

"Same difference," she said with a dismissive wave of her hand, "Just note that I will rip out your throat if you hurt him."

To most, her expression would be terrifying, but to Percy, it wasn't. He'd seen it often enough that the effect had worn off; now it just made him roll his eyes.

"I won't because a- I'm not a dick, and b- he doesn't like me like that."

"You didn't see the way he looked when he was telling me about you," she smirked, "By the way, how in the fuck did he manage to ignore you until now? Was he oblivious to all those times you slept over and we sang along to My Chemical Romance like the emos we are?"

"Apparently so... probably thought I was your boyfriend or something."

She choked on her apple juice, which was enough to catch Bianca's attention. She leaned forward and hit Thalia's back, careful not to ruin her nails.

"-Fine, I-I'm fine," Thalia finally coughed out as she swatted Bianca's hand away, "And are you serious?"

"Yeah. I mean, your poor naive little brother probably grew up watching movies and tv shows where guys would sneak into their girlfriend's place, so it was probably the natural conclusion to him."

"You only snuck in because my dad would throttle you if he caught you!"

"But Jason didn't know that."

"...Fuck... can't be believe it. Betrayed by my own brother... how could he think I was straight?"

"No idea, but I doubt he still believes that. I think you thoroughly proved your gayness to him after the whole Phoebe fiasco." 

Thalia went red at the moment, and downed the rest of the apple juice so she didn't have to speak. Then the microwave beeped and she went to retrieve her breakfast of... lasagne... oh well, it wasn't like Percy could judge her considering what weird things he would usually end up eating for breakfast.

Nico dragged himself in just as Percy put the poptarts into the toaster, and leaned against Percy, eyes still shut as he rubbed his face against Percy's back. He was awake enough to have put his binder on, but not awaken enough to put on a shirt or process the world around him apparently. 

"Morning Death Breath, glad to see you're alive."

He mumbled something incoherent and continued to lean against Percy, effectively stopping him from moving from his spot. Reyna came out a second later, looking how Percy felt; shit.

"I hate that fucking bear," she muttered.

She grabbed the apple juice and downed it straight from the carton, earning a whistle from Thalia as if that was somehow impressive.

"Not a Freddy fan then?" Thalia teased.

Reyna looked her dead in the eye as she yanked the lasagne off her, and made it her breakfast instead. Thalia squawked and tried to get it back, but Reyna was taller and a lot stronger than Thalia, which made Thalia pout.

"That's so cold," she muttered.

"You chucked your soda in my face after the first jumpscare," Reyna reminded her, "Suffer."

Bianca had apparently finished off her nails and dried them, as she took off her headphones and tapped her watch, looking at Thalia.

"Hurry up Thalia, the meeting's in ten minutes."

Percy was hit with a sudden wave of déjà vu, remembering all those times that this had happened; he, Thalia and maybe some others would stay around Nico's, then in the morning Bianca would hang around and bug Thalia, reminding her of the time, until Thalia gave in and they'd end up running out the door to try and get to their group meetings on time. Percy wondered if they had ever managed to get to their archery club meeting on time... they probably hadn't, he reasoned. 

"I know I know, just let me grab something and we'll go," she huffed.

Of course that something turned out to be Percy's poptarts, and he was helpless to her attack, because if he moved Nico would probably end up making out with the floor.

"You dick," he yelled at her as she ran out the door with Bianca.

"Suck it!" 

And then she was too far gone to even bother wasting energy on yelling. With a sigh, Percy got more poptarts out of the box (enough for Nico too) and put them on, praying no one else would come along and steal them.

Nico final removed himself from Percy's back and lazily pulled himself up to sit on the counter with Reyna, finally letting Percy move.

"Ugh, I am never doing that again," Nico muttered.

"You say that, but I bet that the minute the next game comes out you'll be sending me to the store to go get you energy drinks and retrieve Annabeth, and you won't sleep until either the game is finished or you collapse of exhaustion." 

Nico did not deny this, so Percy happily assumed he had won. Instead he just sighed and chucked Percy's phone at him.

"Your phone was going wild by the way; I guess your gay aura is still lingering in the air for Straight Boy."

Percy snorted and rolled his eyes, while Reyna suddenly focused into reality, looking interested.

"Straight Boy?"

"Jason Grace," Nico answered, "He's been blowing up Percy's phone all night, and this morning."

"All night too?" Percy asked as he opened his phone up. He didn't remember getting any texts last night, although that didn't say much. He couldn't remember much of anything from last night; his brain was all mush.

"Yep."

"...You have to get with him," Reyna suddenly said, "It's only fair."

"What?" Percy asked.

"I dated your ex, so it's only fair if you date mine."

"You dated Jason?" Nico questioned, eyes wide. "Holy shit, small world."

"Good to know I'm not the only one who somehow always ends up dating the lesbians," Percy snickered, "How did he take it when you started dating Rachel?"

"He was alright," she shrugged, "Confused, but alright... I remember Rachel telling me that you apparently high fived them when they told you, and then took them out to dinner."

"What kind of friend would I be if I didn't celebrate their gayness, agenderness and new relationship...ness?" 

"You never took me out for dinner," Nico huffed.

"Shut the fuck up, I bought you two packets of giant marshmallows, walked over here and snuck into your house at one in the morning to celebrate."

"Oh yeah... don't remember much of that night."

"That's because you stole Bianca's hidden stash of vodka and got shit-faced you idiot," Percy reminded him.

"Right... please don't ever tell her that."

"I won't."

"I might though," Reyna commented before ominously slipping out of the kitchen. 

Nico hopped off the counter to follow after her, but paused as the toaster made a noise to grab his poptarts before swiftly walking after her. 

Replacing their presence in the kitchen were Nico's parents: Hayden and Penelope. Mr. Hayden (as Percy called him for no other reason than it annoyed him) was a stern-looking lawyer who loved his dogs and had a habit of forgetting that Percy wasn't actually his because of how much time Percy spend there. Penelope was a pretty and mischievous lady who ran a flower shop which Percy worked at and regularly stopped at, as though he wanted plotted plants to take over his whole bedroom.

"Morning Mr. Hayden," Percy sung, "Loving the Star Wars pyjamas, very fancy."

Penelope snorted and ruffled his hair in praise, while Hayden shot him a tired and annoyed look.

"Go to your room Percy," he huffed.

"Not our kid," Penelope reminded him.

"Really?"

"Yes. Our kids are Nico, Bianca and Hazel."

"...If you say so."

And then he wandered into the living room, nearly bumping into the doorway in the process. Penelope laughed and shook her head.

"What an idiot," she said fondly, "Anyway, are you staying for dinner tonight Percy?"

"No sadly," he sighed, "Piper's set me up on a not-date, so I gotta go."

"Aw, have fun kiddo!"

She left too, and considering that Percy didn't leave there, he thought it was about time he went too. He didn't bother to search for Nico and say goodbye, knowing Nico would never take it personally, and so set off with his poptarts.

He looked through his phone as he walked, reading through the numerous texts he had got from Jason alone. There were so many in fact, that it hurt his eyes to try and read them all, so he said fuck it and called Jason up.


	6. Nico is a Fucking Citizen of Oz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly can't remember what was supposed to happen in this chapter (since this was the sole chapter I lost to my stupid broken hard drive) so sorry, it's super bad

Jason picked up almost immediately. 

"Percy! Hi! Hello!" 

Percy couldn't help but smile at that. It was almost like Jason had been waiting on the phone, waiting for another text or something... but that was silly, Percy told himself. Why would someone like Jason do something like that?

"Hey Jason," Percy chuckled.

"I didn't annoy you with all the texts or interrupt anything, did I?"

"No, you didn't. I'm sorry I didn't reply by the way, but I couldn't read the texts; left my dyslexic glasses at home."

"Dyslexic glasses?! Those are a thing?"

"Yeah dude! Mine are blue, and Nico's got a green pair that make him look like a fucking citizen of Oz."

"...I need to get a pair."

"You totally do... anyway, what were the texts about?"

"Uh, nothing important. Just random things."

"Oh, okay."

"...Hey, I've got a free lesson next, so do you want meet up for lunch?"

"Sounds good."

"Great! Um, where should we meet?"

"I'll be in room 207, in the art department. Think you can meet me there?"

"Definitely, I-I mean I definitely can... meet you there."

"Cool, so- wait, free lesson next? Does that mean you're supposed to be in class right now?"

"...Maybe."

"What are you doing talking to me then?!"

"I'm taking a bathroom break!"

"Dude, stop! Go back to your lesson, you fucking idiot!"

And just so Jason couldn't try and argue with him, Percy ended the call. He still felt a little giddy though. Had goody-two-shoes Jason Grace seriously broke the rules just so he could talk to Percy? From what Percy knew, Jason as a stickler for the rules. He loved rules and routine, and so to break that? Just to talk to Percy? Percy couldn't lie; he loved it.

But then he shook his head, just as a car pulled up to him. 

The window rolled down, and a familiar face popped out, clad in round pink sunglasses and a floral sundress. 

"Get in loser, we're going modelling."

Percy rolled his eyes and hopped into the car, frowning at the music playing; Zella Day, Calypso's favourite. It was too... flowery and sweet for Percy. But Calypso would probably kick him out of the car if he said that, so he kept it to himself.

"Thanks for the ride Calypso."

"Better than you being late again," she said with a teasing smile, "Drew would have your head if you were."

"Twice. I was late twice."

"Uhu," she said, sounding unconvinced, "Anyway, what's with that stupid smile of yours?"

"What stupid smile?"

"The one you're wearing right now... could be that you're smiling about a certain blond?"

"Shut up."

A smirk grew up on Calypso's face, and Percy was beginning to wish he had said something about her music so he could escape this interrogation. 

"Thalia said Jason and you have been talking."

"What?! What has she been saying?"

"Nothing," Calypso laughed, "Nothing except that he's apparently been walking around the house like a high zombie and bugging Thalia by asking about you."

"...You're lying."

"I'm not! I swear! I have the texts to prove it!"

"I don't believe you."

"Why do you have such a hard time believing that people can actually be attracted to you?"

"Because I'm me. Why would anyone be attracted to me?"

"Because you are you."

They fell silent and didn't say anything until they reached the room in which Drew was working in. She humming in a content monotone way as she perfected her mirror, and didn't react to them until she had finished. Once she had, she twirled around and gave them both a smile.

"Alright, outfit is in the usual place Blofis. Get suited up."

"Aye aye, captain."

Drew scrunched her nose up and shook her head, earning a chuckle from Calypso.

"Fuck you, I'm a queen, not a captain."

Percy rolled his eyes as he headed into the little changing area (which was a just a corner of the room which had been cut off by a makeshift curtain) and saw what outfit he was going to have to wear today. 

There were a couple outfits hung up on a badly put up hanging rack, all made of silky materials with floral patterns, with the first one being a suit. As soon as Percy put it on, he kind of wanted to run away and keep it for himself. It felt so nice and looked so pretty, but Drew would have his head.

"Any time today, Blofis," Drew called out.

He came out, taking a second to admire himself in the mirror, before walking over to Drew. She scrutinised him for a while, asked a few questions, and poked around a bit before apparently deciding that it was good enough and nodding.

"Floral suits you Blofis, you should wear it more often," she commented, "Now sit your ass down so I can do your makeup." 

Percy did what she said, watching Calypso get out her camera as Drew started on his makeup. It was easy to forget the conversation they had just had as Drew did his makeup, as he got lost in the elegant way she applied concealer and the care she took when doing his mascara. 

And again, he found it easy to loose himself in the flash of the camera and the poses he was told to do once she had finished with his makeup; Drew was a very good friend to hang around when you wanted to forget something bad that had happened. 

But that didn't help when his phone started going wild. 

Drew didn't think before picking up his phone and unlocking it to see who was bothering them, as it was what he had asked her to whenever someone called him, just in case it was a serious phone call. But at that moment, he seriously regretting it, as he had an idea of exactly who was texting him.

"Huh, looks like Blond Grace is a big fan of you," Drew said, "And stop pouting Blofis."

Percy forced his biggest smile, and tried to fight back the urge to run over and slap the phone out of her hand. Meanwhile, Calypso hid her smile before her camera, and took another picture.

"What does he want?" Percy asked.

Drew slipped on her dyslexic glasses (a pretty pink pair) and squinted at the phone screen. Then, her pout broke out into a smile, and Percy was immediately worried.

"Attention, by the looks of it. Apparently he'd bored in class and wants to talk with you."

"Oh my god, tell him to pay fucking attention to his fucking lesson!"

"Okay... aw, now he's whining that there's only five minutes to go so it doesn't matter if he doesn't pay attention."

"Tell him that I don't care, and that if he sends another text, I am going to slap some sense into him when I next see him."

Percy wouldn't ever do that (the most he would ever give Jason for being an idiot is a fierce glare), but the threat sounded good, so he didn't care. 

"...He's stopped," Drew chuckled before putting down the phone, "Look at you, making sure your boyfriend focuses in class."

"He's not my boyfriend," Percy huffed, "He's not even attracted to me."

"Fine, he's the straightest guy to ever straight. It's still cute."

"And I don't know, but doesn't texting the guy you haven't even known for a week when you're bored in class instead of your friends seem a little... odd?" Calypso asked. "Unless..."

Percy groaned loudly and glared at the two smirking girls. Why was he friends with all these assholes again?

"Can we just get on with this? Please?" 

"Ugh, fine," Drew said with an accompanying eye roll, "But I'm just saying that Calypso does have a good point. It does seem a little strange."

Percy shook his head and stubbornly refused to let himself think about what they had said. It wasn't good to think about things that weren't true and would never come to be after all.

"So what's the next pose you want me to do Drew?"

Her smirk grew, and Percy gulped. He had a feeling that he wouldn't survive this modelling session.


	7. Make Sweet Love to the Camera

Calypso was barely holding back her laughter as Drew began shouting out some of the most ridiculous commands ever.

"Pout those lips!"

"Kick up those fucking long legs of yours!"

"Look like you want to make sweet love to the camera!"

"Stick your ass out!"

"Goddammit Drew, I'm not a porn star!" Percy finally yelled. 

And it was then that Jason walked in. Of course, Percy thought, life just hates me, doesn't it? Jason went bright red and hesitated, looking as though he wasn't sure whether to leave or come in.

"J-Jason... hi," Percy coughed out, "Uh, just give me a minute."

He dashed into the changing section and quickly got into his clothes, praying that Drew and Calypso would not bother Jason. Thankfully, they didn't.

"Hey Percy- whoa!"

Percy grabbed his arm and dragged him out the room as quickly as possible, practically running out of the school building.

"Sorry about that; Drew lives to annoy me."

"What was all that?" Jason asked, laughing a little. 

"I do some modelling work for the art department here, and Drew takes full advantage of that."

"Ah... the suit looked amazing by the way. On you I mean, and on it's own I suppose, but mostly on you."

That was probably one of the most confusing compliments Percy had ever gotten (which was saying something considering his friendship group) but he just decided to accept it.

"Yeah, Drew's amazing at fashion."

"Yeah... so, um, what do you do here?"

Percy flinched and bit his lip, trying to work out what exactly he could say to that.

"Like I said, modelling work. And that's it."

Jason frowned, trying to work out why Percy was repeating what he had already said, and then it appeared to click as his eyes went wide.

"Oh shit, sorry."

"It's fine, no big deal. You didn't know."

"...Can I ask what you used to do?"

"I was doing marine biology."

"That sounds amazing."

"It was," Percy agreed with a fond smile, "But my mental health didn't seem to think so."

He was always reluctant to admit the truth, that he was a college dropout, but every time he forced himself to repeat his therapist's words over in his head 'you can't carry on like this, forcing yourself way past your limit. There's no shame in admitting defeat sometimes; not every battle is meant to be won. You just weren't made to function in school environment, Percy, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that'. Percy was reluctant to agree with some of that, but he was somewhat right; Percy just couldn't stay in school and have good mental health. It was one or the other, and fuck it, he'd take the disapproving looks over his life any day.

"That sucks man, I'm sorry."

"It doesn't matter," Perc shrugged, "I got my shit together now."

"I'm glad to hear that."

They walked in silence for a while until they reached the place Jason had chosen for diner; a small little vegan café that Percy knew well thanks to being friends with Piper, Rachel and Frank.

"Is this okay? Sorry, I should have probably asked that before we set off," Jason chuckled nervously. 

"It's definitely okay; I know the menu for this place like the back of my hand."

"Seriously? Sorry, I didn't mean to sound so surprised it's just that-"

"It doesn't look like my scene? Yeah, can't argue with that," Percy said, "But a couple of my friends come here religiously so..."

"Yeah, about that... Piper said you didn't really have any friends but it doesn't look that way to me."

And now it was time for Percy to try and cook up a lie that would keep both him and Piper in the clear; as annoyed with Piper he was for saying that in the first place, he wasn't going to snitch on her. 

"She was just messing with you Jason... and me too, I guess. She likes doing that. Did she ever tell you about the time she told her dad I was half-brother just so he'd let me come on holiday with them without thinking I was going to try and get into Piper's pants?"

"No but holy shit, that sounds like an interesting story," Jason said as he held the door open for Percy.

Percy tried not to look too pleased by that, and found a nice table by the window. Now, he thought, I can do this. This was familiar, as was the story he was going to tell. He could easily pretend it wasn't Jason fucking Grace sitting in front of him, but instead Frank who'd happily listen to him tell the same stories over a thousand times without a single complaint (Percy would never subject him to that, but Percy had seen him do it with countless other friends and adults).

"Want me to tell it to you?"

"Of course!"

"Okay, so Piper and I always had this little joke where we would pretend to be siblings every time the paparazzi caught her..."

***

Jason was literally in tears by the end of the story, his loud laughter echoing through the small café and making Percy's heart flutter. He hid his smile behind his drink and tried to will his heart to calm the fuck down.

"Oh my god, are you serious?! That, is possibly the best story I have ever heard. Jesus, if the rest of your stories are even just half as funny as that one, you'd make one hell of a comedian. 

His glasses had slipped down to the end of his nose and where getting closer and closer to falling off, and Percy didn't think before leaning forward and pushing them back up. He always did it with Annabeth, she even dubbed him her Official Glasses Pusher Upper and more than once she had called him over to fulfil his role when she was doing some work or revision so she could focus solely on that... he was also her Official Hair Fixer, if he could get away with it, as he'd try to cut her hair a little more neatly so it looked less like her hair had been hacked to death.

Jason's eyes went wide and he blushed.

"T-Thanks."

As if suddenly realising what he had done, Percy pulled back and slumped down in his seat, aggressively admiring the menu on the wall beside him.

"N-No problem... ugh, sorry I'm being so weird. Didn't really get any sleep last night."

"Spent the night partying away and getting drunk hey?" Jason teased.

Percy grimaced and shook his head; alcohol tasted disgusting to him. 

"I don't drink... but if you consider playing a horror game in the pitch black during the witching hour with a bunch of equally tired idiots 'partying', then fuck yeah, I was partying away."

"Sounds fun."

"It really wasn't, it was a living hell... but you can bet that I'm still going to end up doing the exact same thing next week."

"Why?"

"Because I hate myself apparently."

For a moment, it looked as though Jason was going to go into some long inspirational speech, before he apparently thought better of it.

"...Same."

"You know... you should really come over next time."

"I don't know, I don't really like horror..."

"Neither do Thalia or Annabeth but they always show up anyway."

"So that's where she was last night..."

"Yep, which is another reason to come; you can enjoy the sight of your sister losing her shit and screaming her head off. Believe me, it's hilarious as hell and totally worth the hearing loss."

Jason threw back his head and laughed, and Percy tried to force back the image of kissing that pretty neck without much success. 

"Yeah, but I'm not sure I'd like to her to hear me scream."

"Well I'd love to hear you scream," Percy said. Then he processed what he said, and died a little inside. "Sorry! That came out a lot more flirty than I meant it to."

"T-That's fine, don't worry about it."

Percy downed the rest of his drink and coughed, licking his lips as he tried to think of what to say next. He didn't notice the way Jason's eyes were fixed on the movement of his tongue, and perhaps that was for the best.

"So... think you'll come along next time?"

"...I guess I could force myself to come along."

"Great... so, what are you doing in college, Mr. All-American Boy?"

Jason's face flushed and he looked down at his drink, smiling softly. It was hard not to smile at the sight of that crooked troublemaker's grin.

"Paleotempoestology."

"Sounds sciency and serious and shit," Percy said with an impressed tone, "That's like the study of storms, right? Or something like that."

"Pretty much," Jason shrugged.

"You enjoying it, Mr. Scientist?"

"It's alright," he replied, "I mean I like it, but it's nothing to brag about really."

"I don't know. I think if I could say Palely- Pally- if I could say a big word like that on my first try without stuttering at all, I'd count it as something that's brag worthy; especially if you don't actually tell anyone what it means."

"So you're saying I should lie about what I do?"

He was smirking, just a little, and god what Percy would do to be able to kiss that smirk off Jason's lips, and pull those fucking glasses off with his teeth, and- Percy shook his head.

"Quite the opposite; I'm saying that you should say nothing."

"You're a nightmare," Jason laughed.

Percy stuck out his tongue in relation, missing the sight of Jason's eyes widening and the hitch in his breath that followed afterwards.

"N-Nice piercing."

"Huh? Oh right!" Percy said, remembering his tongue piercing. "I have your sister to thank for this."

Percy could never say no to bet from Thalia, no matter how ridiculous or dangerous, and it always landed him in strange situations, having to deal with the consequences... this piercing was one of the most painful ones, but Percy had come to appreciate it afterwards; as Nico had said while drunk out of his mind one day, it was 'really fucking hot'. Percy couldn't even remember what bet had led to this... 

"That makes it sound like she did it herself."

"Fuck no! Like I would let her anywhere near me with anything that could be classified as a weapon!"

"...How on earth are you two friends?"

"It's a long story involving a pine tree, an abundance of seaweed and a lightning storm."

"...What?"

"Like I said; really, really long story."

"Well-" Jason bit his lip "-I'd got some time until my next class starts."

Percy shuffled about in his sit until he was sitting up straight, slightly leaning forward, and looking Jason dead in the eye. And then, he began his second story of the day.


	8. Birdemic

"He was totally checking you out Blofis."

"Shut up."

"She's right Percy," Calypso hummed as she took another picture, "He was staring at your ass like it was a slice of apple pie."

Percy pouted and flattened down the next outfit Drew had asked him to wear; a pretty floral dress this time. He was once again made to look like pretty with the right makeup and accessories, though he was allowed to ditch the wig this time, thankfully. He was tempted to steal the dress when she was looking the other way though because damn, did it feel nice.

"He wasn't," he insisted, "You must have got it wrong."

"Percy, I know I'm autistic, but even I could see he was drooling over you," Drew snorted, "He was being so obvious that it was kind of sad."

"I don't know about that," Calypso mumbled, "I thought it was cute."

"Ugh, you're too nice Caly. I really worry about you sometimes."

Calypso rolled her eyes and smiled before snapping another shot. Her and Drew were a strange couple, but Percy couldn't help but feel as though they complimented each other well in their own, odd little way.

"I don't see why you don't just ask him out," Drew huffed, "If he says no then you know he's not interested, but if you get a maybe or yes then congratz, you know he's interested and possibly got yourself a date. Simple as."

"Yeah well, not all of us are as confident as you Drew," Percy sighed.

"...I honestly don't get you altistics, you always make things so unnecessarily complicated."

"Can't argue with that."

Drew hummed, and tapped Calypso's shoulder. Without a word, Calypso handed the camera to her girlfriend, and Drew looked over the photos.

"I think that's enough for today, Jackson. You can go."

Drew, like Rachel, wasn't one for long-drawn out goodbyes, so Percy just waved to Calypso and left. He was surprised to find some texts from Jason when he got his phone out, and looked over them.

Jason – I may have accidentally told Thalia about the story you told me earlier

Jason – She says she's going to kill you when she sees you next

Jason – I think she's gone to find you, good luck

Jason – False alarm. She just went out to buy more marshmallows

Jason – I think she's forgotten, you're safe for now

Jason – Hello?

Jason – Are you getting these texts?

Jason – Sorry, you're probably busy and I'm probably interrupting you

Jason – Sorry 

Percy couldn't help but laugh as he read over the texts. Jason just seemed like such a... sweet guy. Percy felt like he was going to get cavities if he spent too much time with him.

Percy – was busy wiv drew. Soz

Surprisingly, Jason replied a few seconds later. It was like he was waiting for Percy to reply, but Percy shook that thought out of his head.

Jason – I didn't bother you did I???

Percy – no u didn't don't worry

Jason – Og good

Jason - *Oh good

Jason – Fucking hate this phone and it's tiny keypad

Percy – I always spell everything worng so don't worry

Percy – see?

Jason – Okay then.

Jason – Um...

Jason – Sorry this probably is really weird since we only met a day or so agao, but I don't know, you seem really nice. I really like hanging aroud you

Percy – relax it's fine. I really like u too

Jason – So it's not weird if I ask if you want to come over and watch a movie??? 

Percy reassured himself that Jason was probably only asking because all of his friends were busy, but that didn't stop his heart from leaping and a smile from stretching out across his face.

Percy – depends on the movie

Jason – Haven't decided on that yet, think you could pick one??? If you want to come that is

A film – Nico's favourite – popped up in his head, and Percy couldn't help but smirk. That film was the worst and best thing on planet earth, and Percy just couldn't wait to see his reaction to it.

Percy – I got one in mind... think u could pick me up from the school entrance?

Jason – Be there now

He pulled up in front of Percy a minute or so later in an old, small battered car – it seemed like Jason was determined not to rely on his parent's money – and rolled down the window, leaning towards Percy.

"Hey... n-nice lipstick."

Percy frowned and raised a hand to his lips and- yep, the lipstick was still there. Ugh, fucking Drew, he thought, I swear she hates me. Still, he couldn't be bothered to wipe it off and Jason seemed to think it looked nice, so he decided to leave it on.

"Thanks; I'm trying out a new look," he joked as he got in the car, "Mind if we stop off somewhere else first? Nico's got the movie I wanna watch."

"Sure thing."

They set off, and Percy couldn't help but snicker as the music started playing. It was fucking sixties music. And Jason was happily singing along under his breath, subtly shimming in his seat. To Percy, it was the cutest thing he had ever seen, and all he wanted to do was to tell Jason to sing a little louder and stop the car so he could dance a little more.

"Sixties music? Didn't think you were that kind of guy Jason."

He went a little red and shrugged.

"It sounds good okay! And I grew up listening to this, so shut up."

"Hey, I wasn't judging you. I was just saying that I didn't see you as the kind of guy who would enjoy this."

"Yeah yeah whatever."

"...You need Nico's address?"

"No; I've been made to pick up Thalia from his place enough times to know where it is."

"Ah... small world."

"Yeah... again, I'm really sorry I never noticed you before now-"

"Guilt doesn't suit you Jason Grace, so just let it go. Please."

"But-"

"Please," Percy repeated, "For me?"

Jason held his eye for a little too long, before abruptly jerking his head back towards the road in front of him.

"Okay, I'll try."

"Thank you."

They fell silent and eventually made it to Nico's house, and Percy immediately hopped out the car and knocked on the door. Bianca opened up, and smiled a little.

"Hey Percy, what's up?"

"Nothing much... um, think I could steal one of your movies?"

She moved aside and gestured for him to get in.

"Go ahead."

It said a lot that she didn't question why he came all the way to their house to steal some movie without giving a heads up while wearing lipstick, but Percy didn't think on it too much. His life was weird, and he had come to accept that.

"Is that Jason's truck?" Bianca asked as Percy searched through this pile of movies.

"Uhu."

"...Didn't know you two hung out."

"We didn't until the other day."

"Ah... what you looking for?"

"Birdemic; I want to take Jason's 'So Bad They're Good Movies' virginity."

"That's gross dude," she said with a laugh, "And it's on the coffee table."

"Thank you!"

He grabbed the film and gave her a salute before running back to the car, pretending he couldn't hear her laughter. 

"Got it?" Jason asked.

"You bet your flat ass I have, now please get moving!"

"Uh-wha- my ass isn't flat!"

"Don't know, don't care, move already!"

"Jesus, is the film that good?"

"Oh you have no idea."

Jason side eyed him, lips pursed as they started off again.

"...What's with the smirk?"

"What?" Percy asked, feigning innocence. 

"Something's gotta be up, people don't smirk like that for nothing."

"What you talking about Jason?"

"You've planned something, haven't you?"

"How could I? Haven't had time."

Jason obviously didn't believe him, but didn't press further. Instead he just accepted his fate, and headed on home.


	9. You Sadistic Motherfucker, Perseus Sawyer

"What, in the ever living fuck, was that?"

Jason stared at the screen horrified, and Percy laughed at his reaction. His eyes were wide, jaw dropped, and he kept frowning at the screen like he expected a message to come up saying 'lol fooled you, anyway here's the real movie'. It never did, so instead he turned to Percy and glared at him.

"Why?"

"Blame Nico, not me. He's obsessed with these kinds of shitty films, and always drags me over to watch them. And believe me, this is not even the best of the worst."

"Oh my god."

"I've had to suffer through these movies, and you will too whether you like it or not."

"You sadistic motherfucker."

Before Percy could instinctually come out with some inappropriately sexual comment, the door of Jason's living room was flung open and a very angry Annabeth stormed in. She didn't even pay Jason a passing glance, focusing only on Percy.

"What the fuck Percy!? Where the hell where you last night?! You are so fucking lucky that Silena was take your place or I swear to god you would be dead."

"...Shit, I forget to tell you, didn't I?"

"No shit Sherlock!"

"Hey, calm down Chase," Jason snapped, "And get the fuck out of my room! Who even let you in here?"

"Keep out of it, Grace. This is between me and him, so fuck off."

Annabeth and Jason stood there, glaring at each other, and completely ignoring Percy. He looked between the two and sighed.

"Do you two still have that stupid rivalry thing going on?"

It wasn't surprising that they clashed considering how alike they were, but Percy still thought it was annoying... though he wasn't in any place to talk considering his past rivalry with Thalia. But they had gotten over it sooner than these two, and even Thalia agreed it had gone on way too long.

They both snapped their heads in his direction, and he suddenly have the strong urge to make a break for it and jump out the window to freedom. Thankfully, Thalia saved the day.

She slammed the door open and stormed in, glaring at the two blondes. She was dressed in a too-big shirt (that, by the looks of it, had once belonged to Percy) and a pair of arrow-covered boxers; her usual bed clothes. Her hair was sticking up all over the place and all her big, loud piercings had been replaced with small, quiet ones. Obviously, she had been sleeping.

"Oh my god, could you all shut the fuck up? I am trying to sleep."

Annabeth and Jason opened their mouths to argue, but Percy decide to step in.

"Sorry Thals, I'll remove myself and one blond form the equation so hopefully there will be no more fights," Percy said as he grabbed Annabeth's arm, "See you later Jason."

Percy swiftly got out of the house, dragging the sluggish Annabeth behind him, and waited until they were quite a way from the house to talk.

"Shit, I am so sorry Annabeth. I should have told you I wasn't planning on showing as soon as I thought of it."

"Yeah, you should have," she agreed, "So you're making it up to me, and you are not getting out of it."

Percy gulped. This didn't sound good, he thought.

"What do you want me to do?"

"The next thing we're doing with the group is the musical Heathers since Drew's been bugging me about it since day one, and you are going to play Veronica."

"What!? Why me? Why Veronica?!" 

"Because I was talking to the other about it after the show ended, and none of the girls were willing to do the Dead Girl Walking scene, so it's up to you."

Percy knew exactly what scene she was talking about, and felt a little piece of him die inside. Drew had shown him a clip of that scene and wow, he did not want to be doing that in front of a crowd of people. Especially if his parents and his friend's parents were going to be in that crowd. Fuck.

"But-"

"But buts! Listen, I don't care how you play Veronica, you can play her as yourself if you want – as a black queer man – I honestly don't care, as long as you play her."

"...You said it's a musical though." 

"So?"

"I can't sing."

"Oh bullshit," she snorted, "I've heard you sing and you sound absolutely fine to me."

"But-"

"Not listening Percy. It's been decided; you are playing Veronica, Drew will be Heather Chandler, Silena will be Heather McNamara, Octavian is going to be Heather Duke, Frank is going to be Martha Dunnstock, Luke is going to be JD, and... we haven't decide on the other cast members yet, but whatever. You are playing Veronica, and that is final."

Percy's jaw dropped.

"Oh my god. Annabeth, no, I-I can't-"

"You can, and you will. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to call an Uber before I collapse on the ground and fall asleep."

She did not get as far as calling an Uber, as she immediately collapsed. Percy caught her before she hit the ground and dragged her back to the Grace household; she could have a nap with Thalia while Percy regretting his life choices. It only seemed fair.

He didn't even say anything to Jason when he opened the door, just pushed Annabeth towards him and stormed off. He wasn't in the mood to talk. He was in the mood to scream, but he didn't think Jason would appreciate that, so he just made a mental note to apologise to Jason later on, and stormed off.

***

"I have to grind on Luke fucking Castellan in front of all my friends and family while singing!"

On the other end of the phone, Rachel choked and coughed loudly.

"U-Um, what? Mind explaining why you have to grind on your ex-crush in front of all your family and friends while singing?"

"We're doing Heathers next and Annabeth says I'm playing Veronica, while Luke's playing JD."

"...Oh my god."

"I know. I'm fucking screwed."

"How the fuck did he even get the role? I didn't even think he was living anywhere near here anymore, and didn't he just turn like, twenty or twenty three? Isn't he too old to play JD?"

"All I know is that he's got the role, and I am fucked."

"Maybe Annabeth will rewrite it to make it more PG?"

"I hope so, or else I am dead."

"...You don't like him anymore, do you?"

"Oh fuck no! I am definitely over him, but it's still going to be as awkward as fuck."

"...Do you want me to talk to Annabeth? See if I could change her mind or something?"

"I'm not sure it'll change anything but it might be worth a shot so yeah, please."

"Alright... hey, wanna come over and watch the film that that musical is based on? Drew said it's like Mean Girls only with more murder and class."

"Sounds good, so sure, I'll come over."

"Great! Oh, Reyna wants to talk to you by the way," Rachel said before handing the phone over to Reyna.

"Bring all gingersnap biscuits you can or else," Reyna said in an ominous tone.

And then she ended the call.

Percy sighed and began heading back to his house to get to his car and wallet. It seemed as though he would have to make a quick stop at the store before he went to Rachel's or else there'd be blood. So he did, and immediately presented Reyna with his goods.

She glared at them for a second before nodding and taking them off him.

"Rachel, get my money and pay Percy back will you?"

Rachel ran in, looking surprisingly excited, before she slipped their hand into Reyna's back pocket- and yep, that explained it. They kept their hand there for way too long before handing the money to Percy, and he felt reluctant to take it.

"...Thanks."

"No problem, now come on in, my favourite demi-boy!" Rachel demanded. "Because once we've watched the film, we're watching the musical on YouTube, and then we're listening to the soundtrack until the lyrics appear in our dreams and haunt us."

They were flapping her hands excitedly, stimming away, and Reyna was humming in that content little monotone way of her's as she played with Rachel's hair with her free hand. Percy couldn't help but be jealous of them, and wondered if it was a coincidence that all the happiest couples in his friendship group were apparently made of autistic gays.

"...Fantastic... and I'm the only demi-boy you know Rachel."

"Shut up, and you're going to love this. I just know it."

"Uhu, whatever you say Rachel."

Percy brushed past them and wandered into their kitchen, getting himself a drink. He was hesitant to do this sort of thing in the beginning, but since Rachel made a habit of quite happily helping themselves to Percy's favourite cereal, he'd decided it was only fair to do the same to them. So he stole their apple juice and Oreos. 

"Reyna, tell Percy to stop being a dick to me," Rachel whined playfully.

"...No."

"Reyna!"

"Don't care, start the movie."

"Ugh, fine! Percy, get in here!"

"Coming," he called out.

The three of them settled on the sofa as the movie began, and all three got lost in the weird, whacky, deadly world of Heathers.


	10. Late Night Slushie Adventure

Jason woke up late in the night as someone whispered his name. He tried to ignore it the second time, but after the fifth and forth, it turned out to be impossible. There was definitely someone there, and they obviously weren't going to shut up until Jason acknowledged them. So he rubbed his eyes and sat up, reaching for the light switch so he could see this mysterious person.

"Mm, yeah?"

"Pst, Jason."

He opened his eyes and tried to clear his sight. He recognised that voice, but it didn't make sense. What would he be doing at Jason's house in the middle of the night?

"Percy?"

"Hey."

Percy was balancing on his window sill, crouching down, with a massive troublemaker smirk on his face. He was dressed all in black, the only colour coming from the pink nose and whiskers painted on the tip of the hood on the too-big hoodie to match the cat ears. He looked too adorable, and Jason hoped his blush wasn't too obvious.

"W-What on earth are you doing here?"

Percy elegantly hopped off the window sill and strolled in like the house was his own, and Jason tried to remember how to breathe. Percy stopped beside his bed and swayed on his heels, still smiling away.

"Recruiting you."

"For what?"

"An adventure."

"You're going on adventure? At... midnight?"

"Yeah."

"...What?"

"Come on Jason; I have an urge to purge the 7-11 store for slushies, and I've chosen you as my accomplice." 

"H-How did you even get in?! Did you fucking bring a ladder with you or something?"

"Nah; Thalia let me in. I just thought it'd look more dramatic if I hung out on the windowsill. Anyway, come on. Put on some shoes and a jumper and follow me... only if you want to of course. I can get Thalia to come instead if you'd prefer to sleep."

Jason was tired, his head hurt, his eyes burned, and the breeze coming in from the window told him that it would be really cold outside... but he still ended up doing what Percy said and following Percy out of the house.

"Yes Jason! I knew you weren't a complete goody-two shoes!"

He was, but Jason couldn't find it in himself to deny Percy anything.

"Whatever... why are we doing this anyway?"

Percy turned around and began expertly walking backwards, turning on the keyring flashlight he had so they could actually see each other.

"Because I was watching Heathers, and god did it make me want to get a slushie! But I didn't want to go wandering about alone in a 7-11 late at night because that sounds terrifying, so I'd thought I'd bring a big, strong guy like you to come along for extra protection... and that aside, you were the first person I could thought of to bring along. You're the only one I wanted to bring along."

"R-Really?"

"Yeah. You look like the kind of a guy who's never been on a good adventure, and I want to be the one to change that. Everyone deserves to have at least one good adventure before they die. Now come on, I'm freezing my ass off here."

He stopped walking for a second, let Jason catch up to him, then grabbed Jason's hand. He faced back around the normal way and began running, dragging the flustered Jason with him.

"Come on Blondie, show me what you got!"

Jason laughed and began running along with Percy, and by the time they reach the store they were both giggling, out of breath messes. But neither cared. They wandered into the store, towards the slushies, and decided to take a break there to catch their breaths. 

"Forgot... forgot," Percy paused once more to breathe, "Forgot to say sorry. For early. For chucking Annabeth on you."

"It's, it's fine," Jason gulped, "D-Did you two fight or...?"

"No. She just said something I didn't like, then collapsed of exhaustion."

"Oh... does s-she do that often?"

"O-Only when she's... really stressed."

"Okay. So... slushie?"

They got their slushies and Percy paid for them, humming Freeze Your Brain as he did so; it was the song that had decided to get stuck in Percy's head, and he didn't see the point in fighting it.

"You could have at least let me pay for mine," Jason huffed.

Percy shrugged and took a sip of his drink, shivering at the sudden rush of cold of his tongue. Then he got used to it, and was thankful for the cooling drink. He was boiling from his run, so it was nice to cool down.

"You're paying for my popcorn when we go to the cinema tomorrow, so it's only fair."

"The popcorn is for an apology, you don't need to 'make it fair'."

"You know what else just works just as well for an apology? Saying I'm sorry. It's cheaper too." 

"Percy-"

"I don't like people sending money on me okay?" Percy interrupted him. "So let me do this."

Jason sighed and nodded, seeming to give up. Percy grinned around his straw and headed towards a nice-looking wall that they could sit on.

Percy sat down on it and threw his legs over the other side before patting the space next to him, beckoning Jason. He hesitated for a second, before sitting down beside Percy and shuffling about to try and get comfortable.

As they sat in the dim light, on the wall, in silence, with their slushies, high above everyone else, Percy couldn't help but feel... different. With Jason by his side, he felt like he could take on the world with just his bare hands and the thumping of his heart. Love made you feel stupid like that, he mused. It made you feel invincible, like you owned the world.

"It's like we're royalty," he whispered into the night, "Princes even."

"Princes?" Jason snorted. "Of what? There's nothing here."

He gestured to the empty parking lot, but Percy just grinned like he knew something Jason didn't.

"Exactly; were princes of nothing at all, just like in real life."

Jason laughed quietly and shook his head.

"You're so weird Percy."

"Get used to it because I'm very difficult to shake off once you've got me, Jason grace."

Another particular cold breeze washed over them and Jason shivered. Percy was looking him dead in the eye with no escape and he couldn't find it in him to want to escape. In that moment it truly felt like they were the only two people in the whole world.

"You cold?" Percy asked.

"...A little."

Percy didn't think twice at pulling off his jumper and handing it to Jason. Jason held it in his hands and couldn't help but notice how much bigger it seemed now it was off Percy.

"Here, this thing is like a fucking blanket. You'll be warm in seconds."

"Are you sure? I don't want you to freeze."

"I'm a human radiator, I'll be fine."

"...If you say so," Jason sighed before putting it on. 

It was still pretty big, even on him, and as warm as all hell. Jason pulled it up to cover his nose and took a deep breath in, drowning in what had to be the scent of Percy. Meanwhile, Percy had a heart attack, trying not to outwardly coo over how adorable Jason looked.

"Who's is this?" Jason asked after some time. "Because I definitely don't think it's yours."

"You got me there," Percy chuckled, "It's my friend Frank's."

"Frank Zhang?"

"The one and only."

"Huh...really small world... how do you know him?"

"He's Nico's younger sister's friend."

"...This friendship group is really confusing."

"Yep. Way too confusing."

They sat there until they finished slushies, spending their time kicking their legs back and forth as they watched the rare care drive by and interrupt the silence. It felt nice and calm and quiet, and for that reason, Percy knew it couldn't last. He wasn't lucky enough for something like that.

He snuck a peek at his watch and sighed. If he didn't head back home and go to sleep now, he was going to be dead to the world in the morning, which wasn't good since he had work. He didn't think Penelope would approve of him coming into work as a zombie.

"Hate to cut this adventure short, but I think I've got to shoot off home soon-"

Percy turned around, only to abruptly pause as he realised how close Jason was. There was barely an inch between their noses, and if he just tipped his head then- Hh pulled back and coughed, looking away as he dug his nails into the empty cup.

"D-Do you want to walk back or call an Uber?"

"...Let's go for an Uber; it's a bit late to be walking around."

As Jason swung his legs around and hopped off the wall, Percy couldn't help but feel as though he had just missed something. But it was too late to go back now, so he shrugged his shoulders and copied Jason. He'd be seeing Jason tomorrow anyway.


	11. Jason Has a Lipstick Kink

"Don't be late for lunch Percy!" Sally called out as Percy hazardously ran out the front door.

He looked a mess, but he didn't care. He could sort his look out later, all that mattered to him was getting into work on time.

"I won't, I promise!" 

And then he was leaping into the car and driving as fast as he could to work, praying that he would manage to get there before the doors opened. And it seemed like god was looking down fondly at him, as he did get in with three minutes to spare, which he used up changing into his uniform. When he did reach the desk, his co-workers and friends, Grover and Juniper shot him an impressed look.

"Nice timing Percy," Grover commented, "I really thought you wouldn't make it."

He raised his hands for a high five, and Percy tiredly met it.

"Me too," Percy huffed.

"What kept you behind this time?" Juniper asked.

Percy was reluctant to admit the truth, but if he could trust anyone with the truth, it was these two. They would never judge him (that much) and wouldn't dare tell a soul.

"Jason."

"Your crush?"

"...Is this story safe for work?" Grover asked.

Percy felt his face flush and bumped into Grover, earning him a laugh.

"It's nothing like that," Percy mumbled, "It's just... I kind of did a Paper Towns and dragged him out late at night for an 'adventure', so I was super tired and accidentally slept in."

"Aw, that is so cute!" Juniper cooed.

"It sounds like a scene from a teenage slice-of-life romance movie," Grover snickered.

"I couldn't help it," Percy groaned, "He's just so... fucking perfect, and now he knows I exist, I can't keep away from him... I feel like such an idiot."

"It's called being in love bro," Grover said sympathetically, "It sucks."

"Can't argue with that."

"Don't say it like Grover," Juniper scolded, "One-sided love sucks, yeah, but returned love doesn't."

"Exactly, so this sucks," Percy huffed.

But then the doorbell rang, and a customer came in, and it was time for Percy to act like he wasn't dying inside. It was a difficult thing to do, but Percy thought he managed it well.

But the customer was only Leo, thankfully.

"Hey hippies, what's up?"

"The hanging flower basket at $10, Fire Hazard," Grover snorted.

Leo grimaced and shook his head.

"Fuck no, not spending that much on a woman who doesn't even like flowers all that much."

"Then why are you getting them?" Juniper asked. "And watch your language Leo!"

"She saw these pretty red ones and thought they'd be nice to give the house some natural life," he replies, "And sorry Juniper."

"Since when has your mum been a robot?" Percy teased.

There could be only one person Leo was talking about after all.

"Forever, you were just blind to the signs," Leo joked, "Anyways, it's her birthday tomorrow - she's having a BBQ for it, and you're all invited by the way - so you better have the flowers she wants, or you're dead."

"Shoot, well we better have the flowers then," Percy exclaimed, "Uh, could someone who knows more about red plants help him?"

"I'll take him, don't worry Percy," Juniper announced.

"You are a lifesaver Juniper Bloom."

"I know," she giggled with an added wink.

Percy jokingly winked back and blew her a kiss.

"Hey, stop flirting on the job you two!" Grover huffed. 

"Sorry Grover," they two of them chorused, not looking sorry at all.

Grover just shook his head and tried to hide his smile as he prepared the flowers that would soon be taken away to be delivered.

"By the way, Aquaman, you should totally wear some lipstick for your date later tonight," Leo said in a faux-casual way.

Percy glared at him and flipped him off.

"Don't call me Aquaman, why, and it's not a fucking date!"

"Language Percy!" Juniper scolded with a glare.

He couldn't help but wince; Juniper's glare was surprisingly terrifying for such a sweet girl.

"Sorry Junie."

The glare melted away into her bright and sunny smile that always made everyone around her want to smile along with her. Percy relaxed.

"You are forgiven."

"Thank you."

"...Anyway," Leo coughed, "It is a date, and you should wear makeup because Jason is weak for pretty people in lipstick."

"Aw, you think I'm pretty?" Percy asked teasingly.

He fluttered his eyelashes and puckered his lips, earning laughs from everyone and an eye roll from Leo.

"Well duh, I'm aroace not blind," Leo snorted, "But seriously, wearing lipstick is a surefire way to win him over. I swear he was a lipstick kink or something."

Grover froze and turned around quickly, flower clippers in hand as he threw his arms up.

"There will be no discussion of kinks in this flower shop!" Grover announced loudly. "This flower shop is a non-kink-discussion zone!"

Leo laughed and put his hands up in mock defeat.

"Sorry man, I'll shut up."

"You better," Grover huffed, "I'm pure and innocent, I don't want to hear about any of my friend's sex lives, thank you very much."

"And you think I do? I'm only saying that to help Percy get the-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence," Percy cut in.

"Wha- you didn't even know what I was going to say!"

"I know exactly what you were going to say Leo, and it was not appropriate for The Undergarden."

"Hey, be nice to the guy who's helping you get laid!"

"Leo!" They all complained.

"Geez, tough crowd," he huffed, "Anyway, you better take my advice, Blofis, because I will know if you don't."

"Yeah yeah, whatever," Percy said, "Juniper, please take him away."

"Will do!"

She grabbed Leo's arm with an impressively tight grip and dragged him outside the shop to look at the flowers at the front.

"...I hate to agree with him dude, but I think he's right," Grover said after some time.

"What?"

"Just do what the fire hazard says and wear the lipstick tonight, alright?"

Before Percy could ask why Grover would care what he wore to his meet up with Jason, a customer came in, and he had to pay attention to them.

Luckily, work at The Undergarden wasn't too bad or hard. Sure, it got annoying if a particularly rude customer came in, but Percy found that The Undergarden tended to attract the loveliest and friendliest of people... though some were a bit too friendly. Like the customer he was dealing with currently.

He was a regular, a guy named Ethan, who apparently had taken a liking to Percy after what felt like his hundredth visit. Percy wasn't even sure if Ethan had an excuse for buying flowers anymore, he has a feeling the short, angry guy was just coming solely to flirt with him.

He was leaning on the counter, looking away from Percy and frowning, but he couldn't hide his blush. Unfortunately for him, Percy was taken by it. Usually, he didn't find Ethan too bad, in fact, it was kind of fun to flirt back at first but now... but he wasn't in the mood today.

"There's a really nice cafe that's just opened down the street," Ethan commented, "If you got any free time after work, maybe we could-"

Percy could feel a headache coming on, knowing fully well that the 'new cafe' was a good few weeks old now. Just how desperate was Ethan?

"Not interested Ethan," he snapped.

That made him turn and face Percy.

"What's got you in such a sour mood?"

Leo, Piper, Jason, this not date. A lot of things really, but he wasn't going tell Ethan that.

"Sorry, just a bit stressed out."

"He's got a date tonight!" Leo yelled out before being dragged back outside.

Percy winced and tried to bite down the urge to go out there and slap Leo.

Ethan moved away from the counter.

"Oh."

"It's not actually a date," Percy said quickly, "Everyone else just keeps saying it is to annoy me."

"Oh! So... is that still no to my offer or..."

Fuck it, Percy thought, Why not? He might as well have an actual fun date before his awkward not date. Besides, it'd give him something to do before the not date.

"You know what? Yeah, I'll go with you."

A smile broke out on Ethan's face, and Percy couldn't help but grin back.

"Um, alright then. I'll wait outside for you when your shift is over."

He quickly ran out, which confirmed Percy's theory that he was definitely not buying for anyone anymore.

Grover immediately slid over to him and frowned.

"Why did you say yes?"

"Because I can? Come on G-Man, let me have a little fun before I die of embarrassment tonight!"

"Why are you going to die of embarrassment?"

"Because you have all put the idea that this meet up is a date in my mind, and I won't be able to stop thinking about Jason's potential lipstick kink, and overall it's going to be weird as hell."

"...Ugh, fine. Whatever."

Percy raised his eyebrow at that reply, watching Grover shuffle away with confusion. What was with that reaction? Percy couldn't understand it, he thought he was absolutely right in what he was saying. Sue him for being pessimistic and weak for pretty boys, he couldn't help it. And Ethan was a pretty boy, even if he did have slight pirate vibes going on with the eyepatch.

He shook his head and sighed, watching the door as another customer came in. He straightened up, put on a smile, and acted like he was perfectly fine.

"Hello, how may I help you today?"


	12. Miss ‘The Rules Don’t Apply to Me So I Can do Whatever the Fuck I Like and Sneak Out, and Come on Percy You’re Nearly Seventeen, Have Some Fun for once’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... this was supposed to be a original story, that I turned into a fanfic because I found that easier to write but... do you think this would work if I turned it back into an original story? And just changed the names of the characters and a few other things?

Rushing back to his house for his lunch break wasn't one of Percy's favourite things to do, but it was worth it. Recently he didn't have as much time to spend with his Mum as he would have liked, so this was a good opportunity as any. Not to mention, Sally made food better than anything he could buy at the store.

"So... are you excited for your date tonight?"

Percy groaned and hid his face in his hands, earning a laugh from Sally.

"Mum!"

"I'm genuinely asking if you're excited," she chucked, "Is that so bad?"

"Yes, and you know it is." Then he lifted his head up to face his grinning mum. "And not really... but hey, I got a date."

"Really?! Who with?"

"Ethan."

"The boy from the flower shop? I thought you said you weren't interested in him like that."

"I'm not, and I have told him that unless I explicitly say the words 'I want to date you', I will continue to be uninterested," Percy explained, "We're just meeting up for a coffee after work to waste time until I have to meet up with Jason."

"Well... I hope you have a good time at both your date and non-date."

"Meet up."

"I prefer non-date."

"Mum!"

Sally laughed, and Percy couldn't help but wonder how she looked younger now than she did a few years ago.

"Anyway, how's your new book coming along?" Percy asked. "It's about Greek Mythology, right?"

"It's coming along great, I-"

Annabeth stormed in, and Percy wondered just how many people had a spare key to his house.

"Percy!" Annabeth gasped, out of breath. 

It looked like she'd ran there, and finally had a good night's sleep, which Percy was glad about. It was nice seeing that Annabeth giving upon being a zombie… for the time being at least.

“Annabeth,” Percy replied.

“Hi!”

“Hey.”

“Sorry about me being a dick earlier!”

“That’s okay.”

“And what’s going with Jason?”

“Everything thinks we’re going on a date, but we’re not. Don’t listen to anyone who says we are, they’re lying.”

“Oh, okay.”

Percy pulled out a chair and Annabeth immediately swung it around so the back was facing Percy flopped down onto it, arms hanging over the back. Percy internally screamed, because that wasn't the right way to sit on a chair. She then stole Percy’s drink, downing it in one. In retaliation, Percy swung his feet onto her lap and leaned back. 

“Want a drink and a bite to eat, love?” Sally asked.

“T-That would be great… thanks…”

“No problem.”

Sally got up and left the two alone.

“…Did you just come here to just say that?” Percy asked. “You could have just phoned or texted.”

She opened her mouth and then closed it again, frowning. Without her saying anything, Percy knew exactly what was going through her head.

“No, but shit, I can’t remember.”

She dug into her pocket and got out her phone. She squinted at it for a few seconds, cheeks turning red, before frowning and slamming it down on the table.

“My spelling is shit, but at least I fucking made that note,” she huffed, “I-I’m going to ask out Piper.”

Percy’s jaw dropped, and he couldn’t help but grin.

“Seriously? Oh my god! That’s amazing! How are you going to do it?”

“I’m buying her fucking chocolates, and fucking flowers and shoving them in her fucking face and fucking asking her to go to fucking dinner with me.”

“Sounds romantic,” Percy snorted.

“Shut up,” she huffed, but she was wearing a smile, “By the way… what’s this about you sneaking in to the Grace’s house the other night?”

“I got bored and decided to take a leaf out of your book Miss ‘The Rules Don’t Apply to Me So I Can do Whatever the Fuck I Like and Sneak Out, and Come on Percy You’re Nearly Seventeen, Have Some Fun for once’.”

She flipped him off, and Perc returned the favour.

“But seriously, what the fuck? You never wanted to sneak out when I was the one begging you to do it, and now you’re telling me that you, on your own accord, snuck out and dragged someone out along with you?”

Percy felt his face flush and looked away.

“I-I couldn’t sleep, and I needed to do something. Something with him.”

“Oh yeah?”

Annabeth leaned forward and wriggled her eyebrows comically, but somehow what she was implying was more embarrassing than the truth. 

“It’s not like that…” Percy mumbled. He didn’t want to admit the truth, but he needed to talk about it. To get it out of his system. “I had a dream of us as a middle aged domestic couple owning a cute little house with a couple of cats and a kid.”

Her jaw dropped.

“Ho-ly shit. That, is fucking adorable, oh my god.”

Annabeth burst into laughter, and Percy once again hid his face in his hands, slowly dying in side. It was one thing to have a sex dream about the person you liked, it was another thing entirely to have some stupid domestic dream.

“Shut up,” he groaned.

“Oh my god.”

“I’m leaving.”

He took his feet off her lap and started to move away, but Annabeth grabbed his hand.

“No no, I-I’m sorry, it’s just-“ she took a moment to cough “-That’s so cute. I hope everything works out with that.”

“Yea yeah, whatever,” he huffed, “I’ve got to go anyway. My break is over soon.”

“…Seriously, I hope things work out.”

Percy couldn’t help but smile at her. For all Annabeth’s stubbornness and pride, she was a great friend when it came down to it.

“I hope things work out with Piper too.”

She looked away, biting her smile.

“Thanks.”

 

He gave her a look hug before slipping over to Sally to give her a quick hug too before running back to his car and scooting off back to work.

****

Work passed by quickly, and soon Percy was hiding in the back, changing into his date clothes and, after some hesitation, putting the lipstick on. Just as he said he would be, Ethan was waiting outside.

“Hey Short-Stuff,” he said, “Ready to raid the new café of all their chocolate muffins?”

“It’s like you read my mind,” he chuckled, “I’m been craving them all day.”

 

“Nah, Rachel’s the mind reader in our group,” Percy joked, “I instead got the super power of being able to stay underwater for an inhumanly amount of time.”

“Wow, exciting.”

“Shut up.” Percy playfully bumped into Ethan, earning him a shove back, and laughed. “Anyway, how’s your classes coming along?”

Despite the origins of their friendship, the two didn’t really flirt all that much when they got time to actually sit and talk. They just talked about whatever came to mind, about school and work and friends and families and hobbies etc, etc, etc. Percy wondered if it was because they both knew that, realistically, nothing would come out of it. It would just give Ethan false hope, and wouldn’t change how Percy felt. It was easier to use their flirting as a greeting and quickly give change to just chat like friends who had met under normal platonic circumstances. It wasn’t as though that was really hard.

“Holy shit, you’re going to see Black Sabbath?! Dude, I would sell both my kidneys to go see them live!”

Ethan grinned smugly and shrugged. He took a loud, exaggerated sip of his black coffee, and perhaps it was because Percy was tired, but a thought flashed through his head about it being like his soul.

“Yeah, I guess it’s pretty cool.”

“Pretty cool- what the fuck dude, stop being so casual about it!”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“If we weren’t in public Ethan, I would throttle you. Don’t be such an ass when talking about fucking Black Sabbath!”

“It’s not even your favourite band, you Led Zepllin stan.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t be passionate about it! I have plenty of passion and anger to go around!”

Ethan laughed in that almost silent way of his, and Percy thought it was only fair to steal Ethan’s muffin and take a massive bite out of it.

“What, you dick! Let me muffin go!”

Percy swallowed his bite and stuck out his tongue. “Suffer.”

“Wow, real mature Blofis.”

“I never claimed to be mature so that means nothing to me.”

“Oh my god, you absolute-“

“Percy?”

 

Percy froze, eyes widening as he heard that. What the fuck was he doing here? Percy thought. This wasn’t near the cinema or any of his friends’ place so he’d have no reason to come here unless-

Leo.

Percy turned around and, sure enough, there was Jason and Leo. He turned back to Ethan, and smiled apologetically.

“Sorry, I have to go kill an annoying Mexican elf.”

“Have fun,” was Ethan’s only reaction.

Percy got up and stormed towards the two, immediately glaring down at Leo who was beginning to look like he regretted his decision.

“H-Hi Percy,” Leo tried.

“Why did you bring him here?” Percy cut him off. 

“What? A guy c-can’t bring his friend to a café?”

“He can, but bringing his friend to one that’s no where near where the guy or his friend live, and just so happens to be the where where the guy knows that his other friend is on a date, is a little fishy.”

“Whoa whoa whoa,” Jason piped in, “Date? You were on a date?”

“Yes, but it didn’t mean anything, and please keep out of this. This is between me and the matchstick”

“Hey!” Leo complained.

He was ignored.

“So what, were you leading that guy on?” Jason asked.

“What kind of guy do you take me for? No, I’m not some ass that strings along people on dates that I don’t plan to take any further.”

“Then what?”

“It’s sorted out between us both, so shut up!” Percy snapped before turning to Leo. “I repeat; why the fuck did you bring him here!”

Leo flinched, and Percy immediately took a step back and a deep breath. He hated that he was like this. He hated how angry and bitter he was. He hated when things like this happened. What kind of a friend was he? What kind of a person was he? Why did he have to be so much like Gabe?

“Sorry,” he said after some time, “Just… just forget it… I’m going home.”

He turned around, and began walking to his car. But, someone began running after him.

“Percy!” Jason called out.

Despite the fact that Percy wanted nothing more to do than curl up in bed and try to sleep off the guilt weighing down on him, he stopped. Jason quickly got up to him, and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Sorry about being an ass back there. It’s none of my business what you do after all.”

“S’fine.”

“…Are you still up for seeing that movie? I mean you obviously don’t have to say yes, but I’m still up for it if you are.”

Percy thought about it, and perhaps it was the way that Jason’s lips were curled into a soft, sad smile that encouraged him to nod his head. But even if it wasn’t, the bright, blinding smile he got after that was worth it. What the hell, he thought, at the very least, it’ll be a good distraction.  
“I suppose some popcorn would be nice.”

“Great!” Jason chirped. “Uh, to your car then?”

“Sure thing.”

Jason threw an arm around Percy’s shoulder and grinned, and Percy fought back the urge to squeal.


	13. Percy Discovers a New Kink

The popcorn was amazing, but the film was not.

From the minute it started, Percy few it was going to be bad, but somehow it exceeded his expectations... and was the worst film he had ever seen. And Jason agreed, if his spontaneous nap was any giveaway. 

Twenty minutes in, and Percy was ready for death; not even his fidget cube could keep his urge to run out of the room at bay. He needed to get out, but he couldn't leave Jason here. He began gently shaking Jason awake.

"Pst, Jason." 

"Hmm, what?"

"Dude, I am going to die of boredom unless we get the fuck out of here right now."

"...Guess we better go then."

They got their stuff together and scuttled out of the room, thankful that it had been practically empty and that they had sat at the front. Percy winced as they left the darkness, aggressively blinking to try and adjust to the brightness.

They sat on a bench outside the cinema, and Jason immediately covered his face with his hands and groaned loudly.

"Uh, dude, you alright?" Percy asked.

Jason looked up, looking miserable. He looked straight ahead instead of facing Percy, as though he could see something Percy couldn't.

"Does god hate me or something? This was supposed to be really fun and you were supposed to think 'wow hanging out with Jason is so fun I should totally do it more often, and I totally forgive him for being a dick because of how fun being around him is'."

"...Were you trying to classically condition me into associating you with fun times, hence wanting to spend more time with you?" Percy teased. Jason raised an eyebrow. "...Nico comes across some weird things when doing research for his theories, and I'm his favourite person to gush to about them."

"...Theories?"

"Yeah, he's a game theorist. Has his own YouTube channel and everything."

"Oh my god, seriously?!"

"Hell yeah! Come on, come back to my place and binge watch the videos with me! You can watch him, Thalia, Annabeth, me and other 'guest stars' collectively lose our shit."

"Well...," Jason grinned and turned to face Percy, "I guess that sounds pretty fun... unlike the movie."

Now it was Percy's turn to groan.

"Jason, I fucking told you before, guilt does not suit you. Stop feeling guilty for things like this; the movie being bad was nothing you could control."

"I could have looked up more reviews-"

Percy leaned closer and covered Jason's mouth with his hand, glaring at him. Jesus, Percy thought, what is it going to take to get it through his thick skull that he doesn't need to feel guilty?

"Nope, you're not feeling guilty anymore, I won't allow it. We're going in to get slushies, then going back to my place to binge watch every single one of Nico's videos and there will be no room for guilt. This-" Percy gestured around them, "-is a guilt free zone, got it Grace?"

"Please don't remind me of my connection to my parents," Jason groaned.

"I will unless you stop looking and acting like an adorable kicked puppy."

"But-"

"Upupup, guilt free zone."

"...Fine, let's go get slushies."

"Yes!" Percy cheered.

Pleased with his victory, he practically skipped back inside the cinema with a bright smile on his face. Jason shook his head and followed after. But he paused when he reached the door, something registered in his head.

"Wait, did you just call me adorable?! Percy, get back here! Percy!"

***

As it turned out, Jason could scream louder than Thalia at a Freddy jumpscare, even when he was watching a video of it in the middle of the day in a fairly light room. But just like Thalia, his natural instinct after that was to cling onto the nearest human being and attempt to hide behind them... or become one with the other person's arm... Percy wasn't sure.

But what he was sure about, was that Jason had such a tight grip on Percy's arm that Percy couldn't even be happy about Jason curling up against him. He was too busy mourning the loss of all the bones in his left arm. He tried subtly shaking Jason in hopes of the grip loosening, but Jason was too busy staring wide eyed at the screen and repeating his mantra of 'Holy shit' to really notice.

"Oh come on. That's the third time in a row that we've been killed by Freddy Fuckboi Fazbear, how is that fair?" The Percy on the screen complained in a tired, monotone voice.

"They're giant animatronics possessed by the ghost of murdered children; I don't think they care about it being fair Percy," the Annabeth on the screen pointed out in an equally tired, monotone voice.

"Eh, she's right Percy," the Nico on the screen agreed.

Screen-Percy put his middle finger up at them.

Meanwhile, non-screen Percy had given up on being subtle. Subtlety be fucked, he thought, I want my fucking arm back.

"Jason, you are literally crushing my arm."

Jason squeaked and swiftly let go of Percy's arm, wincing as Percy rubbed it and frowned.

"Sorry, I didn't realise I was holding on so tight."

"Jesus, what are you? Fucking SuperMan or something?"

"I work out."

Percy looked at Jason from the corner of his eyes, taking a moment to appreciate the result of Jason working out. Those arms may have attempted to destroy his arm, but fuck, were they nice to look at.

"Yeah, no shit Mr. Six-Pack. You could probably crush me with one hand."

Percy hated himself for how that didn't scare him. In the fact the idea of someone being that strong, especially Jason was... wow... for fucks sake, Percy thought, now's not the time to be discovering new kinks.

"That sounds pretty terrifying."

"Yeah, but it's also kinda hot-" Percy paused, realising what he had just said, and desperately began to backtrack, "-uh, I-I mean some people may think it's kinda hot! Some people! Not me, obviously."

Percy face flushed and he prayed to every god imaginable that he could go back in time and slap himself before he had the chance to say something so stupid. 

"Obviously," Jason repeated.

His face was red and he was biting back a grin, looking far too cute for Percy to handle. It wasn't fair for Jason to be both hot beyond comprehension and the cutest thing alive, like how did he do it? What was his secret? According to Calypso, Percy was 'good looking in the hot and dangerous way, you know, like the idea of riding a motorbike without a helmet'. Percy had no idea what that meant, and wished she had given him a clearer answer, but she liked being cryptic like that.

At that moment, Blackjack bounded into the room, meowing loudly and demanding attention. He jumped up onto the sofa and got into Percy's lap, bumping his head against Percy's hand until Percy gave in and pet him. Mrs. O'Leary followed, flopped down by Percy's legs and immediately fell asleep.

"Godammit Blackjack, I got a guest. Now's not Blackjack Time, it's Guest Time! Wait, you're not allergic to cats, are you Jason?"

Jason was frowning at Blackjack, leaning away from him.

"No, but cats don't tend to like me."

"Well Blackjack will love you, believe me," Percy reassured him, "He loves everyone, well, anyone who isn't openly or secretly a dick. He's like a lie detector I swear! I use him to test people, but don't tell anyone."

"You used him on all your friends and partners?" Jason joked.

"Yes," Percy answered honestly, "Uh, well almost all. I think one moved away before I got Blackjack and hasn't visited since. But yeah, anyway who's good in my cat's book in good in my books."

Jason nodded and shuffled forward, game face on.

"How do I bond with this cat?"

Percy couldn't help but laugh at that.

"Pay him attention and pet him, you Shiro-esque nerd. You don't need a degree to get my cat to like you, just the ability to fuss over him."

Percy slowly picked Blackjack up and slowly passed him over to Jason. Jason initially froze up as Blackjack sat in-between his legs, but quickly relaxed as Blackjack meowed quietly and began rubbing his face against Jason's stomach. Percy didn't think it was possible to find even more reasons to be jealous of his cat (apart from the obvious: doesn't have to work, pay taxes, gets fed, gets sleep all day and be fussed over) but life liked surprising him like that.

Jason cautiously patted Blackjack's pet, and the purr he got urged him to properly pet the annoying black cat. He began smiling and literally giggled when Blackjack licked his hand.

Percy felt like he needed to wear sunglasses to block out the blinding adorableness that was taking place in front of him. Seriously, he was beginning to fear for his health. Being exposed such high levels of adorableness surely was deadly, Percy decided.

"Percy, I love your cat," Jason announced, "Can I steal your cat? I want to steal your cat. I feel as though we have a very strong connection, one too strong to break, so it would obviously be safer for both of us to live together."

"Good luck with that buddy; you'd have to go through me, two grown adults – one of whom knows how to use a gun, the other who knows how to use a sword – and three excitable children."

"Wait, sword?! Who knows how to use a sword?!"

"My dad; he's cool like that."

"...What?!"

As if they had been summoned, Percy's family burst through the door at that moment. Shit, he thought, I'm fucked. He didn't have time to get Jason out, it was impossible. He would just have to hope that nobody noticed-

"Percy, who's your friend?"

Percy groaned and turned to face his mum, as did Jason.

"Mum, this is Jason who's leaving soon, and Jason who's leaving soon, this is my mum."

"Hello dear," Sally chirped, "Are you really leaving so soon? It would be lovely if you could stay for dinner."

"I agree, it'd be nice to have you stay a little longer," Paul agreed with a faux-innocent smile, "Sally always makes way too much food so it'd be no trouble."

"Uh, nice to meet you both," Jason said, "And I guess if it's no trouble, I'd love to stay for dinner."

"What a polite young man," Sally cooed, "Isn't he lovely Percy?"

Percy smiled, but on the inside, he was dying. He had a feeling that he wasn't going to survive this dinner.


	14. Cute Angry Cupcake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short; I couldn't think of much to write for the dinner scene. But hey, now we can have a sleepover scene instead!

Dinner was a living hell.

Not because there was any fighting, or arguing, or a tense air. In fact, everyone loved Jason. Perhaps a little too much. Percy’s parents thought he was wonderful, his siblings thought he was he basically SuperMan, and his pets hadn’t left Jason’s side.

“Such a _gentleman_ ,” Sally gushed after Jason had complimented her food, “Tell me, how long have you and Percy… known each other.”

Percy glared at her smirk and tried not to bend his fork in half. He knew what she was doing, and he regretted inviting Jason back to his place.

“Only a few days,” Jason mumbled, “It feels like a lot longer though.”

He smiled softly, and Percy hated the way it made his heart leap in his chest. Why did Jason have to be so cute?

“ _Really_? It seems like you two have known each other for years with the way you act-“

“Could you pass the salt please Jason?” Percy asked, cutting Sally off.

While Jason reached over to grab the salt, and quickly signed ‘doesn’t know I played Juliet, don’t tell him’. Thank god, he thought, For Blue. She was nonverbal a lot of the time, so learning sign language had been pretty much a must.

Sally’s eyes widened and she nodded, pretending to zip her mouth shut as Jason handed the salt over.

“Thanks,” Percy coughed.

“Do you really need _more_ salt, Percy?” Paul asked with a laugh. 

“Ella thinks Percy is salty enough,” Ella commented.

Jason chuckled and rose an eyebrow.

“ _Percy_ thinks Ella’s been watching too many highschool sport films with coaches who speak in third person,” Percy snorted.

“Ella thinks Percy should shush up!”

She frowned in an adorable way, arms crossed, like a cute angry cupcake. Percy played along, crossing his own arms and sticking his tongue out, making the others laugh.

“Do you have any siblings?” Paul asked once he had calmed down.

“Only one; my sister Thalia.”

“Thalia!” Blue exclaimed, smiling brightly.

Blue was very fond of Thalia, and always followed her around with big, wide eyes with Thalia came around. Thalia absolutely loved it.

“Yeah, Thalia,” Jason chuckled.

Blue gasped and apparently decided that Jason being related to Thalia meant that she loved him, as she crawled onto his lap, abandoning her dinner. Jason was rolled with it though, laughing and patting her head.

“Thalia?! Thalia is your sister? Sorry, you two… you’re very different,” Paul said.

“Yeah, no one ever believes that we’re related at first.”

“I’m surprised you two only met recently since Thalia and Percy had been friends for years,” Sally commented.

Percy sent Jason a look, as if daring him to feel guilty.

“Maybe fate was just waiting for the perfect time to introduce you two,” Paul commented.

“Classical literature nerd,” Percy snorted.

Jason’s eyes lit up and he leaned forward towards Paul.

“You like classical literature?”

“I’m an English teacher; it’s _my job_ to be classical literature nerd,” Paul replied.

The two immedaitley began gushing about classical literature, and Percy left to get a drink. He was followed by Sally, however. 

“You haven’t told him yet?” Sally asked.

Percy sighed and shook his head.

“No, and I don’t ever plan to,” he said, “He might get… funny if he realises that I was the one playing Juliet that night, the one he had to kiss. He seems to be fine you know, not homophobic or biphobic or anything, but I don’t know…”

Sally put an arm around his shoulder and kissed his head, smiling softly as he leaned against her.

“I’m not going to force you to tell him, or tell you what I think you should do,” she reassured him, “The only thing I will tell you to do is what you think is the best choice.”

“Thanks, you’re the best Mom.”

She gave him one quick squeeze before letting him go and returning to the table. He waited for a few minutes though, thinking about what she had said. Was it better to tell him, or just keep silent? He knew the best thing would probably be to tell Jason before he found out through someone else, but Percy didn’t think he was ready yet. He’d tell Jason when he was more confident that Jason would not freak out if he heard the truth.

And with that, he returned to the table.

“Didn’t you go to get some water?” Paul asked.

“Did I? Oh yeah, I did,” he remembered, “G-Gosh darn it.”

He loved his siblings, but he didn’t love how he had to censor himself around them. The worst thing was when he hurt himself, that was always a nightmare. He had created some interesting swears over time to avoid swearing properly.

He got up, once again trying to get water. Back at the table, he heard the tell-tale noise of a glass being spilt, and the shifting of chairs. Of course. The dinner had been running way too smoothly, so of course there had to be an accident.

“Oh bumblebees!” Tyson huffed.

Percy sighed and shook his head; that wasn’t one of his better fake-curses. He returned to the table, watching as Blue began reaching over to play with the water while Sally and Paul tried to clear it up and Jason tried to hold back the kids.

“Percy!”

“Coming.”

Dinner was always eventful in one way or another in the Blofis residence, though Percy sometimes wished it wasn’t.

***

Only two hours later, and Percy was driving Jason back home. Percy’s parents had managed to show Jason all the family photos before Jason was stolen by the kids to play Superheroes, and Percy had to admit it was adorable watching them. Jason seemed to fit in effortlessly with his family.

“So… what do you think of them?” Percy asked.

Jason shook his head, as if coming out of a daze and shrugged. He was smiling softly, and looked a little tired. Percy wondered if he had been sleeping well lately. He was tempted to bug Jason about it, but he decided now wasn't the time. Now felt too lazy and calm to ask about such things. He could ask Jason tomorrow... if he remembered.

“Your family? They’re… the family I wished I always had… my parents never really have any time for us, and Thalia’s always off on some grand adventure, so seeing your family… it’s nice.”

He was still smiling, but Percy felt as though that smile was a little fake. He knew what it was like to have a careless parent, but third time’s the charm hey? He got there eventually, _they_ got there eventually. Paul really was a godsend. 

“It took us a while to get where we are now,” Percy said quietly, “And hey, I’m pretty sure my family has adopted you, so they’re your family too.”

“I-I don’t think they liked me that much.”

“Are you kidding? They _adore_ you,” Percy reassured him, “I’m pretty sure they would have kept you there if I didn’t drag you out.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

A real, big grin appeared on his face then, and Percy felt himself copy that grin. Some gentle love song played quietly as they drove through the quiet streets, and Percy felt more relaxed then he had in a lot time. Since when had being around Jason been something that relaxed him? Usually it just stressed him out, kept him on edge. What had changed?

“…I meant what I said before, about feeling like I’ve known you for years,” Jason commented, "I don't know how or why, but it's true."

“Maybe we met in another life,” Percy chuckled.

“Maybe we did… I know this sounds kind of stupid, but it feels like I’ve been waiting to meet you for a very long time, Percy Blofis. Or maybe, I’ve been waiting to re-meet you. Does that sound stupid? It does, doesn’t it?”

Percy felt himself fall a little more in love, and for once, the fall didn’t hurt.

“It doesn’t… In fact, it’s nice to imagine that we’ve met before in a previous life, in a previous world, in a previous reality. Like Paul said, it’d be nice to think that it was fate that we met. That we met when we did.”

“Like it’s fate,” Jason repeated.

“Yeah.”

Percy knew the moment wouldn’t last, but he would have given everything he had to make that moment last forever. It was perfect, and he was afraid of letting go of it.But he had to, he had no choice.

He pulled up at Jason’s house, jumping when he felt a hand on his arm. He turned to face Jason, looking at the way he bit his lip and kept his eyes trained on the window.

“Stay the night, please?” Jason asked. “The house in empty tonight, and I don’t want to be alone.”

Percy was too far gone to say anything but: “Sure.”

Jason’s eyes met his, and he smiled softly. Percy had always knew that he had a weak spot for people who felt like home, but he never knew someone could feel this familiar and comforting. It was frightening, but perhaps… perhaps it was time to accept it.


	15. The Birds Don't Count as Neighbours Jason

Percy could understand why Jason wanted someone in the house with him when Jason left him to go to the toilet.

The house was huge with bleached white walls that seemed blinding to look at. It felt like you were trapped, despite the space, like nothing else existed apart from you, the furniture and the walls. And the silence? It was deafening. It was the perfect house for two famous actors who were never home enough to feel the chill and discomfort.

He shook his head, trying to remember what he had been doing before he let his mind wonder. Changing, right. Well, taking off his pants and replacing his shirt with one of Jason’s (one that looked and felt more comfy).

There was a knock on the door as Percy pulled the shirt on and he jumped, heart racing. Shit, was it really that quiet that even just a knock was setting him off guard? It was never silent with Thalia around; she filled the silence simply by existing.

“Percy? Can I come in?”

“Y-Yeah.”

Jason came in, holding a tray filled with cups and drinks and snacks. He set them down and sat in the bed, eyes trailing over Percy, pausing at his legs. Percy already knew what he was going to ask, it was what everyone seemed to ask him. People had a strange fascination with his legs apparently.

“It was better not to shave when I was on the swim team, and I guess the habit stuck even when I left,” Percy explained.

“Ah.”

“Besides, the kids love it. As soon as I come out of the shower after shaving they latch onto me and pat my legs or rub their faces against them. And don’t get me started on Blakcjack and Mrs. O’Leary; they have the sudden urge to lick my legs after I’ve shaved them… maybe they like the taste of my shaving cream?”

Jason snorted and began laughing, looking more casual than Percy had ever seen him before in his boxers, band shirt and round glasses.

“I-I was actually wondering about the knee-high socks, but that’s fucking adorable.”

Percy flushed and playfully kicked Jason’s foot. They were actually Annabeth’s socks, but he had swapped them with a pair of his own socks because Annabeth got annoyed with having to pull them up every five seconds.

“Shut up, they’re warm.”

“Hey, you don’t need to explain it,” Jason snickered, “Anyway, thanks for agreeing to stay again, I really appreciate it.”

“You make it sound like it’s some hardship to spend time with you Jason,” Percy snorted, “Dude, I like spending time with you, I wanted to stay over and spend more time with you. That’s why I said yes.”

“Really?”

Jason looked like an excited puppy, and Percy wanted to lean over and pet him, or ruffle his hair.

“Believe me, I would not force myself to hang around someone I hate.”

“Oh. Good.”

“…Did you really think I was just hanging around you because I felt like I had to?”

“I-It was just a stupid thought in the back of my mind.”

Without really thinking, Percy held Jason’s face in his hand and stared directly into his eyes.

“Well banish it forever because I like you, Jason Grace, and believe me, I’m not lying.”

Percy could feel Jason’s face heat up against his hands, and felt his lips stretch into a wide, goofy smile before he saw it.

“Stop that,” Percy huffed.

“Stop what?”

“Looking adorable. You look like an excited puppy when you’re happy.”

Jason’s smile only got bigger. Percy wanted to slap that smile, or kiss it, either one. Preferably kiss it though.

“Really?”

“Oh my god, stop! You do a better puppy-dog face than my actually dog!”

Percy let go of his face and flopped back onto the bed, covering his flushed face. Fuck, he couldn’t handle how attractive Jason was. As he said before, it was unfair that Jason could both look inhumanly hot and unbelievably cute.

“Like you can say much,” Jason chuckled, “You look pretty cute yourself.”

Jason shuffled over, resting his arms and chin on Percy’s knees, glasses once again slipping down his nose.

“Shut up.”

“Nope.”

“Oh come on!” Percy groaned.

Jason laughed loudly, but did stop talking and moved away from Percy, sitting down by his side instead.

“So… game or film?”

“Uh, game?”

“Any particular one?”

“Surprise me.”

Jason did surprise him, to the point where Percy had no idea what the game was even when they started playing. It was one some one-player game, so they switched now and then, offering commentary when they weren’t playing. Everything was pretty chill… until the sex scene.

Percy had no idea why sex scenes seemed to be so important in so many films and video games, especially when they were just unbelievably awkward and unnecessary. No one ever enjoyed the sex scenes.

Jason seemed to doubly agree, as he grimaced looked away.

“You okay Jay?”

“Y-Yeah, just the… sex… it’s… uncomfortable.”

“You don’t like sex?” Percy asked.

He had a sudden sense of deja vu, remembering a similar conversation he had had with Leo a year or so ago.

“No, I mean, I don’t know… like, I think people are hot, but I’ve never saw someone and thought ‘wow I want to have sex you’.”

“So you might be asexual then? Like Leo and Annabeth?”

Jason bit his lip and shrugged.

“Maybe?”

“You don’t have to think about it now if you don’t want to,” Percy said, “We can talk about something else… we could watch a different film. I can pick one that will definitely make you forget this conversation.”

Jason glared at him.

“…Is this going to be anything like Birdemic?”

 “Of course not!”

“Oh thank god,” Jason sighed, looking relieved.

“This one doesn’t have a sex scene in it.”

“…I’m very afraid.”

“As you should be Grace. Now give me your laptop and I’ll search this motherfucker up.”

“Don’t you mean you’ll search this Oedipus up?”

“…You fucking nerd.”

“Was that an insult?”

“No, it isn’t. It’s just annoying how you manage to get progressively cuter. Now hand me the laptop before I die of your cuteness.”

“Wouldn’t want that to happen,” Jason chuckled as he handed his laptop to Percy, “What’s it called anyway?”

“A Time Machine I Found at a Yard Sale.”

“…That sounded kinda cool until you said ‘Found at a Yard Sale’. Now I just fear for my life.”

“Fear for your sanity, not your life. Also, could you get me some orange juice if you have any?”

“You going for orange juice over diet coke?”

“You will understand soon.”

“I really don’t want to.”

“Too bad; suffer.”

Jason threw back his head and laughed, filling up the silence in the best of ways.

***

“I never thought a movie could make time travel boring and orange juice so evil but hey, here we are, having viewed a film that accomplished just that.”

They were lying on their backs on Jason’s bed, trying to comprehend what they had just seen. No matter how many times Percy saw it, he was still unprepared for it, but it had been hilarious watching Jason slowly lose his mind.

“Never underestimate human stupidity.”

Jason laughed quietly, staring up at the ceiling. It was silent once again, but locked away in Jason’s room, the silence wasn't overwhelming. It was just… nice. Like Jason’s bed. Jason’s bed was unbelievably comfy, and Percy wished he could steal the bed for himself. He just wanted to roll around in the covers, become a human burrito, and sleep for a thousand years…

“Hey, Percy… can I tell you something?”

Percy wanted to sleep, but friends came before sleep… unfortunately.

“Of course.”

“I… I don’t think I’m straight. I think I might be bi. And maybe ace? I don’t know.”

And suddenly Percy felt far more awake. He rolled over to face Jason and his hand on Jason’s arm in what he hoped was a comforting way. Jason looked tense and worried, which wasn’t going to last long, Percy decided. And he already knew how to make Jason feel better.

“Really?”

“Y-Yeah.”

Percy poked him to make Jason look before opening up his arms. Jason looked hesitant, like he was worried Percy would try to strangle him instead of hug him.

“Come on, I wanna give you my ‘Proud of You For Coming Out’ hug. I’ve had a lot of good reviews on them, Nico even gave them a 4 ½ stars. I would have gotten 5, but I gushed about how small he was a second later.”

That made Jason laugh, and he shuffled over for a hug. Percy wrapped his arms around him and held him close, trying to resist the urge to put a kiss on Jason’s shoulder and tangle their legs together.

“So? Is it good?”

“…Five stars.”

“Yes! I am so telling Nico next time I see him!”

Jason laughed, and Percy could feel it against his own chest. He wondered if Jason could feel the way his heart was violently beating his in chest like it wanted to escape and say what Percy was too afraid to.

“Thank you… for this. For everything. For existing. You’re just… you’re amazing.”

“You’re not so bad yourself, Jay… you okay with me calling you that?”

“I like it… can’t give you a nickname though.”

“Well technically, you’ve been calling me a nickname this whole time.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Percy admitted, “My full name is Perseus.”

Jason shifted so he could face Percy without breaking the hug, smiling widely.

“Wait, what? Your full name is _Perseus_?”

“My Mom likes Greek mythology, okay?!”

Well, he couldn't blame her completely - he'd been the one to say yes to it after all, but it was easier to blame his Mom than explain why he'd gone for that instead of just Percy.

“I’m not making fun of you,” he said while laughing, “I-I like it. Perseus Blofis… sounds interesting.”

“Sounds stupid,” Percy snorted.

“I like it,” Jason repeated, “I’m totally calling you that from now on.”

“Please do not.”

“Don’t be so grouchy Perseus.”

“If you call me that again, I’m taking away your hug privileges.”

“Alright… Perseus.”

“Okay, I am leaving this hug!”

Or he tried to, but Jason immediately clung onto Percy with his super human strength, keeping Percy trapped in the hug. And Percy wished he could say that he hated them, but Jason was nice and warm and the perfect size for a hug.

“Nope, you are not.”

“Jason, let me go!”

“No, enjoy the hug.”

“Jason!”

“Shut up, you’ll wake the neighbors.”

“You don’t have neighbors.”

“I do!”

“The birds don’t count.”

“…They do in my mind.”

“Jason.”

“Shut and suffer.”

“Hey that’s my line!”

“Too bad.”

The only chance Percy had to escape the hug was an hour later, when Jason had finally fallen asleep and his grip was looser. But Percy couldn’t let go, not now, when he had a chance. Not when Jason was bi and could like boys, could like kinda-boys like Percy. He had a chance, and he was going to take it.


	16. Grab the spatula Jason

Waking up next to Jason was a religious experience, Percy decided. Everything was warm, calm and quiet, and every bone in Percy’s felt like lead, pinning him effortlessly to the bed. His legs were still tangled with Jason’s and an arm was slung over his waist, the heavy weight serving as a reminder that yes, this was real. The sun shone in through the slim gap between the curtains, illuminating Jason like he was some divine being with hair like spun gold.

And then Jason shifted a little and began to slowly open his eyes, barely awake. He flashed Percy a blinding lazy smile, and Percy felt like the luckiest person alive.

“Hey,” Jason said in a low, quiet voice, “Sleep well?”

“Yeah; your bed is unbelievably comfy.”

Jason laughed, and loosely gripped at Percy’s waist.

“I know, it’s the best… can you see what the time is please? I can barely keep my eyes open.”

Percy peered over Jason’s shoulder, squinting to look at the clock. Huh, he thought, pretty earlier.

“It’s ten.”

Jason fully opened his eyes and sat up. Percy fought the urge to grab Jason and yank him back down because goddammit, it was cold without him.

“Ten?! That’s so late!”

“If you say so, Jay,” Percy mumbled, “Ugh, get back here. You’re like a human radiator.”

“ _S-Shut up_ , we’ve got to get up.”

“Why?”

“It’s Esperanza’s birthday party today!”

“Leo’s Mum? _Dude_ , the party doesn’t start until _one_.”

“I said I’d help set things up, so _get up_!”

“Why do I have to get up if you’re the one who’s helping out?”

“Because my dad is coming back-“

Percy didn’t need to hear the rest of that. He immediately got up, only to stand there and wonder what the fuck he was supposed to do next. It wasn’t his house, he couldn’t just go down and get breakfast, or go and have a shower, and he definitely couldn’t just strip and change right there.

See, Jason’s dad was some dickbag politician who only cared about his children when they had an influence on his image, and liked to try and… monitor the friends that his children had, thinking that his kids hanging out with ‘the wrong kind of people’ would influence how people viewed him. To him, Percy was one of those ‘wrong kinds of people’, and getting caught by him was really bad.

“Uh, I’ll go downstairs and make us some-,” Jason began, but Percy cut him off.

“Um, yeah, no, you can’t cook for shit Grace. How about I make us some breakfast while you shower and change?”

“But you’re a guest…”

“So? I like cooking, and I like actually edible food, so let me cook.”

“…Alright, but just make something simple and easy for me, yeah?”

Percy rolled his eyes as he grabbed his socks, put on his socks (because the floor was like a fucking ice rink) and got up. He wondered if he should start keeping a tally of how many times Jason felt guilty for something because really, it seemed to never end.

“I’ll make something we’ll both like,” he replied, “Now change.”

“Yes… Perseus.”

“Dear god!”

Jason laughed and ran into the bathroom connected to his room (Percy was incredibly jealous), locking the door behind him.

“I’m not letting you be my partner in crime if you keep calling me that!” Percy yelled out.

But he got no reply, so he went downstairs. He swore he got lost once while searching for the kitchen, and when he did find it, he wondered if he had somehow been transported into a store for kitchen furniture with an immaculate and useless kitchen display. He couldn't see where anything was, it was all just smooth, white surfaces. It felt… unsettling, like some experimenting room/prison from one of those sci-fi films that Leo was so fond of... And now Percy couldn’t remember why he was down there… wait, kitchen, food, he was going to make breakfast. Right.

Like the room was instead in complete darkness so he couldn't see a thing instead of being fully lit, Percy ran his fingers over the surfaces, trying to find cupboards and the fridge, and thankfully found them. He began cooking, taking a moment to put on some music. Perhaps Highway to Hell wasn’t the best song to listen to as his mood got progressively worst (because fuck, why was everything so hidden away, did these people never eat?), but Percy decided it was too late to turn back… and so listened to it on repeat while cooking until he felt like he wanted to get on a highway to hell in the hopes that the kitchens in hell would be set out better.

“Hey,” Jason called out, making him jump, “You doing okay?”

He hair was a little wet, and he was glaring at Percy’s phone, no doubt wishing it would shut up. Percy was too busy to stop the music though, and let it play on.

“Good question. Another good question: what the fuck is up with your kitchen? Is your family that desperate to prove that they are so godlike that they don’t even want people to know what they have to eat to survive?”

“The answer is probably yes,” Jason shrugged, “…Wait, you found the knives? Shit, I’ve been looking for those forever!”

“How do you eat?!”

“I uh, always eat out.”

“Always?!”

“Unless someone else makes the food, then yeah. I pretty much always eat out… only at healthy places mind you! But yeah…”

“…What the fuck dude? When’s the last time you actually had a home-cooked meal?”

“Yesterday, with your parents.”

“And before that?”

“…I can’t remember.”

Nope, Percy thought, he wasn’t going to let that slide

“Dude, we’re changing that.”

“What?!”

“Help me with this, would you?! Percy asked, ignoring Jason.

“What?”

“Grab the spatula Jason, or so help me, I will play Highway to Hell again, and we will _not_ get to Leo’s on time.”

“Fine, fine!”

Percy prayed this wouldn’t lead to the kitchen going up in flames.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short; I wanted to get something out, but I can't focus long enough to actually write something long atm. Hope this is alright.
> 
> And thank you to everyone who's left comments, you guys are super sweet and always cheer me up. I know I don't really reply to comments because that stresses me tf out, but know that I really appreciate them. Thank you again


	17. But… Sonic’s the fastest thing alive

The kitchen didn’t burn down, but it was a close call, and Percy vowed to never let Jason help out with food ever again. Thalia hadn’t been joking when she said Jason was even more catastrophic in the kitchen than she was (and this was coming from the girl who almost somehow seemed to forget a crucial ingredient in whatever she was supposed to be making, and often made things explode in the microwave).

“Percy,” Jason whined, “I’m fine, seriously.”

“You almost burnt yourself, and your whole kitchen down! I think I’m allowed to be worried!” Percy exclaimed as he checked over Jason hand once more.

“It doesn’t hurt, I swear. Let me go, you mother hen.”

Percy paused and looked up, raising his eyebrow. But Jason was looking away, staring at the wall with a pretty obvious blush on his face. Was he seriously getting flustered over hand holding? Percy wondered, We cuddled in bed last night, but it’s hand holding that makes him blush? But even so, Percy couldn’t help but find it cute.

“Since when does worrying about your friends make you a mother hen? Since I last checked, that just makes you a friend!”

But like Jason said, he was fine, so Percy finally let go of his hand and turned to his food.

Despite the near disaster with Jason, the pancakes were completely fine and tasted great, which was one positive at least, he decided. But he couldn’t take the time to savour them today, not when Jason’s dad was coming home so soon and they had a pre-party to get to. He ate as quickly as possible and then back run the stairs to shower and change in record time. Jason wasn’t even halfway through his breakfast when Percy came back down.

“Jesus dude! What are you, Sonic?”

“Just because I like blue and can be fast, doesn’t mean I’m Sonic! And Eggman’s actually faster than Sonic anyway,” Percy pointed out. At Jason’s confused look, he continued: “When you’re friends with Nico, you learn a lot of shit that you never wanted to.”

Jason looked like his whole childhood had been ruined. Percy didn’t blame him, he too had been really disappointed to learn the truth. But Percy had helped Nico with his calculations and gone over them again at the end since he was the best at maths out of the gaming trio, and then Annabeth had (of her own accord because she refused to believe it was true), and it all checked out. Nico was completely right, and it totally sucked.

“But… Sonic’s the fastest thing alive.”

 “Have this argument with Nico, not me. I can’t remember jackshit of his argument. Now eat! You’re taking _for-fucking-ever_. The world may end by the time you finish eating!”

“A bit dramatic, don’t you think?”

“With the pace you eat at? No.”

Jason rolled his eyes and purposely ate slowly for a few seconds. But the glare from Percy made eating faster.  And after that, they were quickly heading off to Leo’s. There were a couple of people there, ready to help out: Leo’s older brother Charles, Silena (who was Charles’ best friend), Clarisse (Silena’s girlfriend), and Leo himself, surprisingly enough. The four of them seemed to be just hanging around and chatting casually instead of hurrying to plan a party that was taking place in a few hours or so, which sounded about right. Leo was unknowingly good at talking about such random topics that it made everyone drop or forget what they were doing just so they could join in and listen.

“Bit early for you to be awake, isn’t it Blofis?” Clarisse said.

“Blame Blondie over here,” Percy huffed, gesturing to Jason, “He wouldn’t let me sleep in.”

Clarisse looked over at Jason, eyebrow raised and arms crossed.

“And you lived Grace? The last time I tried to wake him up early, he bit me.”

“It was an accident!” Percy exclaimed.

“Uhu, whatever you say. Anyway-“ she turned to Silena “-ain’t we got some shit to babe?”

Silena smiled brightly and nodded, clapping her hands together excitedly. That seemed pretty impressive considering that her arms were full of newly-bought paper plates and plastic cutlery.

“We need to get all the chairs and tables out, decorate the garden and outside of the house, and get all the food ready before everyone arrives!”

“So it’s just four doing this then? And we have to do all that in like, under three hours?” Percy asked. “Are we going to be able to actually manage that?”

“We have to manage it,” Charles sighed, “It’s not like we can postpone it or anything.”

Percy groaned, already regretting agreeing to come. It was too early for him to be awake, never mind for him to be helping set up a party.

“Well come on then, let’s get started!” Leo cut in. “Dibs dealing with the food!”

“Percy, you should probably help with the food too,” Charles said, “You are the only other good cook in the group after all.”

“Hey, I’m a decent cook!” Clarisse snapped.

But Charles was already backing away, most likely in hopes of avoid Clarisse’s wrath. But that didn’t help, as she just stormed in after him, insisting that she could cook.

“Do me a favour Jason and go in after them to make sure she doesn’t kill him,” Silena asked, “We need everyone alive if we want to get everything sorted out on time.”

“I’m on it,” he reluctantly said before heading in.

“…Right,” she said when he had gone, “I don’t think we need to start sorting out the food for a while actually, so mind helping me with the decorations?”

Despite it being phrased as a question and her charming smile, both Percy and Leo knew they had no choice in the matter. Soon, they were helping her to put up bunting, blow up and tie balloons around the place, and add a few more little touches to the places.

“So,” Leo said after some time, “You and-“

“We didn’t have sex,” Percy cut in, “I came around for a sleepover.”

Leo’s eyes went wide for a second, before a soft smile crossed his face,

“Seriously? Aw, that’s actually kinda cute.”

“Don’t tell Clarisse; she’ll never let me live it down.”

“Bit hypocritical for the ‘Queen of Cuddles’ to tease you about a sleepover, isn’t it?”

“What the fuck!?” Percy asked, laughing.

Leo smirked and looked around for a second, making sure Clarisse wasn’t nearby, before leaning closer to Percy.

“That’s what Silena calls her. Apparently she’s a total _sucker_ for hugs.”

Percy could barely hide his laugh. That was adorable and absolutely priceless! Clarisse was totally going to suffer the next time she tried to tease.

“ _Oh my god!”_

“I know right!”

“Stop whispering about my girlfriend and focus on working,” Silena called out, making them jump.

She was smiling away though as she tied some balloons to the gate, so obviously she wasn’t too bothered by them whispering about her girlfriend.

“Sorry Silena,” they chorused before getting back to work.

As the sun started glaring down at them, and Leo put on the cheesiest of old high school dance songs and began to sing and dance along, Percy knew this was going to be a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Sonic thing is actually legit btw, check out the Game Theory video on How Fast is Sonic the Hedgehog


	18. Leo Vs Toxic Masculinity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this Leo, Percy bonding time

"Red or black, heels or flats, makeup or not?"

Percy looked up at Leo who was looking between two dresses he was holding up. The two of them were supposed to be searching for Eza birthday present that Percy had left in Leo's bedroom so he couldn't forget it (but he could still loose it apparently), but he guessed that was being put on hold for a minute.

"...Are those Calypso's?"

Leo pursed his lips and looked away.

"Maybe... yeah, I snagged them off her last week... but don't tell her that."

"My lips are sealed," Percy insisted, "And red, flats and minimal makeup."

"Thank you," Leo said quietly.

He held up the dress for a second longer before swallowing and slowly putting the black dress back. He then lay the red dress on the bed and smoothed the material out, frowning. He seemed reluctant to put it on, which didn't surprise Percy. This was the first time he'd seen Leo show a direct interest in wearing dresses.

"Something wrong Leo?" Percy asked.

Leo shook his head, then paused and moved away from the dress. He looked up at Percy with glassy eyes and played with his fingers.

"...I think I'm genderfluid Percy."

Percy put the pillow down that he had been searching under and stood up fully, opening his arms up.

"I think you've known me long enough to know what this means."

That earned him a short burst of laughter and and an arm full of Leo. Leo, as always, was all sharp, bony edges that made hugging him as comfortable as hugging a wire hanger, but he was warm, so that was nice. He pushed his face against Percy's chest, and Percy rose an eyebrow as he began running his fingers through Leo's curls.

"Enjoying yourself down there Leo?"

Leo made a confused voice, then a squeak, and jerked his head away from Percy.

"I thought you had your binder on!" Leo exclaimed. "Oh my god, I am so _sorry_!"

Percy just laughed pulled him back.

"I was only teasing you... wait, are you still okay with he, him pronouns or..."

"I-I want to try being called she for a while," Leo said, her voice muffled against Percy's chest.

"Alright then."

"...Have I ever told you what a cool friend you are? Because you are."

"Even when I blow up at you?"

"Yeah. Even then."

Percy couldn't help but smile. What had he done to deserve friends like this?

"...Thanks. You're pretty cool too."

They hugged for a while longer before Leo pulled back, wiping away her tears with a smile on her face.

"Okay," he said while taking a deep breath in, "Dress..."

"You don't need to be feminine when using feminine pronouns," Percy reminded her.

"I-I know. And I'm not a girl today, but I want to wear a dress... but I don't know... what if it looks wrong? What if people laugh?"

Percy thought about what to say for a moment, when an idea popped into his head.

"It won't, they won't, and give me a minute," he called out. He ran downstairs and searched for Silena, finding her getting a drink. "Silena, got a spare dress I can borrow?"

"I always bring spare clothes," she said like she was offended he'd think she hadn't. She got her bag and pulled out a dress, handing it back to Percy. "Wash before you give it back, alright love?"

"I will, thanks Silena!"

He quickly slipped into the toilet and changed, thankful that Silena was taller and broader than Piper, matching his build much better. The dress fit him almost perfectly, and he no longer felt like he was going to loose the blood circulation to his legs or that he should shove a sock down his bra. It was a pretty blue and in no way matched Percy's orange converses; it truly was perfect.

He made his way into Leo's room and pointed at Leo.

"There, now we're _both_ wearing dresses, so they're going to have to make fun of _both_ of us if they _do_ decide to be dicks. But they _won't_ , so we will go out there, and we will look fucking _amazing_ and people will _fucking compliment_ on how _fucking amazing_ we look... if you still want to wear the dress that is. It's cool if you don't."

"N-No, I want to."

"Alright then, let's get you dolled up you pretty-"

"Person."

Leo smiled widely, her eyes gleaming, looking so excited that Percy was worried she'd spontaneously combust.

"Pretty person then," Percy chuckled, "Let's make you the _prettiest_ person on planet earth."

"Okay."

Three struggles with the zip and two failed makeup attempts later, and they were done.

"So?" Leo asked. "How do I look?"

She did a twirl, looking beautiful beyond words. She looked a little shy despite her excitement, not quite ready to meet Percy's eyes.

"There are no words to describe how amazing you look," Percy reassured her.

Her smile grew and she playfully shot finger guns in his direction.

"Would smoking hot fit?"

"I suppose they would," Percy chuckled, "Just don't try to set the garden on fire."

"That was _one_ time," Leo huffed, "And I blame the squirrel entirely."

"Sir Hoard-A-Lot was completely innocent and you know it."

"I can't believe you named them."

"No, what I can't believe is that Rachel made a Tumblr account for them."

"... _What_?"

"It's a long story."

"...You have a lot of those, don't you?"

"I have to keep up the mysterious aura somehow," Percy said with a shrug.

Leo just shook her head and laughed.

"Guys," Silena called out, "Rachel's on her way! Better start the food!"

Percy slung an arm around Leo's shoulder and grinned.

"Ready to knock them dead?"

She took a deep breath and nodded.

"Always ready."

 


	19. Underage Italian  Leprechaun

When they got down, Leo kept behind Percy as if to hide behind him, but neither Clarisse or Silena reacted badly. In fact, Silena gasped and grinned widely, clapping her hands together 

"You look amazing Leo! Red really is your colour."

"She's right, you don't look half bad," Clarisse agreed.

Leo pressed her forehead against Percy's back, no doubt trying to hide her smile.

"T-Thanks." 

"You should come over when you've got time; we have tons of dressing back home that never get worn! Mostly because Rachel keeps dropping them off at our's since their dad is determined to get them to wear a dress."

As if summoned, the gate was suddenly swung open and a mess of red hair appeared.

"What's up sluts? I brought booze!" Rachel announced as they stormed in with booze in hand and a pair of heart sunglasses.

Reyna followed behind, holding more alcohol as well as the presents.

"And I brought the person who brought the brooze," she said.

Silena cheered loudly, Percy sighed, Charles and Jason looked afraid, Clarisse smirked and Leo looked ready to hide away.

"Clarisse, help Reyna get all that inside, will you?" Silena asked. 

"Only if I can steal some afterwards," Clarisse chuckled as she stook the beer off Rachel.

"Don't you dare get drunk before the birthday girl gets here!" Silena yelled, going after Clarisse.

Rachel, now free of the beer, threw their arms up and cheered loudly.

"Man, we haven't all got together in forever, this is going to be _great_!"

"Was the booze _really_ a good idea?" Jason asked.

"We're teenagers Jason, we're not _expected_ to have good ideas," Leo joked quietly.

Everyone turned to face her, and Leo put on a faux-confident smile. Rachel pushed their sunglasses down their nose and whistled, smiling brightly.

"Looking _good_ Leo," they said, "You should wear dresses more often."

Leo smiled a real smile before smirking and bumping his arm against their's.

"You hitting on me Red? Don't think your girlfriend will be too happy."

"Their girlfriend had to listen to them scream the lyrics to Froot on repeat for ten minutes," Reyna yelled from the kitchen, "You can have them."

" _Reyna_!" Rachel gasped.

Upon hearing their girlfriend laughing loudly with Clarisse, Rachel pushed their sunglasses back up their nose and stormed into the house.

"They're such dramatic gays," Leo snorted, "I love them."

"You're just saying that because they brought the booze," Percy joked.

" _Rude_!"

Charles, who had been staring hard at Leo, stepped forward and put a hand on her shoulder. Leo froze up and slowly turned around, looking afraid.

"...I like it," he said, "It suits you. But I can make it even _better_."

"Y-Yeah?"

Charles pulled an interesting little clip from his pocket that looked like the leftovers from a steampunk cosplay. It had a number of small bronze cogs attached to it that looked like they could move. He handed it to Leo, who admired it with wide eyes.

"Thought you'd like it," he said.

" _This is so cool_ ," she gasped, "Put it on for me, will you?"

Charles did, and Leo immediately spun around to face Percy.

"How does a look?"

"It looks great Leo," Percy reassured him.

Jason gave a thumbs up, looking beyond confused, and tried to smile.

Luckily, Leo's strong point had never been reading facial expressions ("It's an autistic thing," she explained once after trying to guess what two characters had supposed to be feeling during a silent, serious moment where they just stood and stared at each other. She suggested constipated) so she just grinned and wandered off. No doubt she was going to steal a beer.

"...Why are you both wearing dresses?" Jason asked once Leo was gone from sight.

"You wouldn't ask why a girl is wearing trousers, would you?" Percy questioned.

"No, of course not."

"Then why would you ask why a boy is wearing a dress? It's the same thing after all, asking why someone perceived to be one gender is wearing something that's typically seen to only be worn by the opposite gender."

Jason opened his mouth, only to close it again and shrug.

"Guess you're right... why are you wearing a fake bra or whatever though?"

"I'm not."

Jason's eyes went wide.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Sorry, I-I shouldn't have asked," he apologised, "That was such a dick move."

"You didn't know and won't do it again, so it's cool... right?" 

"I promise I won't."

"Then we're good."

Percy flashed him a smile, watching the blush slowly grow on Jason's face. 

"Good...um, am I allowed to ask about... it?"

"As long as you're not a dick about it, then yeah."

"If I am, please tell me," Jason said, "Um, so you're a trans guy right?"

"Trans demiboy," Percy corrected him, "I'm trans but like, not completely? I don’t totally feel like a guy, but I’m definitely not a girl or nonbinary. I mean…”

“I get it, don’t worry… well, sort of,” Jason said, “Is that okay?”

“You’re never going to be able to fully understand how I feel, so as long as you just respect that, then it’s okay.”

“I can do that.”

Jason smiled at Percy, and Percy felt his heart flip in his chest. Jesus, he thought, what is this guy doing to me? He wanted to say something, anything, but the moment was ruined by the gate being flung open.

Nico came in, wearing shorts with multicoloured skeletons on it, carrying Clovis on his back. He did a little jump to try and wake Clovis up before turning to Jason and Percy.

"Hi guys," Nico chirped.

Clovis blinked, yawned and then spoke.

"Having a moustache doesn't make you a man, it just makes you one step closer to being _Mario_."

And then he fell back alseep.

"...Well he's _not_ wrong," Percy said with a frown.

"Yeah, I suppose that _is_ true, Jason agreed.

The three awake friends nodded but looked as though they really didn't want to agree, but had to. Clovis said some strange things when he was half asleep… and since he seemed to always be half asleep, it made for some very interesting conversations.

“Anyway,” Nico coughed, “Where _is_ everyone?”

“In the kitchen getting drunk probably,” Percy answered.

“ _Sweet_ ,” Nico whispered before heading into the kitchen. 

Then, there came a loud bang, a loud “Keep your hands off the booze you underage Italian leprechaun”, two loud groans, and Nico and Clovis were kicked out of the house.

Nico huffed and frowned, while Clovis looked around in wide-eyed confusion. Percy wondered if he even knew he was coming to this party or whether Nico had just picked up Clovis when he was sleeping and carried him here… either one was likely.

“Where _am_ I?” Clovis asked.

“Leo’s,” Percy replied, “It’s his mum’s birthday so we’re having a party. You can go if you want but think of the free food man, free food.”

“… If I _stay_ , can I sleep?”

“I don’t think _any_ force on earth could stop you from sleeping, especially not me… Leo should be fine with you using his bed if you want a comfortable place to sleep; he should be in the kitchen.”

“Cool.”

Just as he left, other people began to appear from around the corner, and Percy took a long, deep breath. 

“Question, who the _fuck_ was that?” Jason asked.

“Clovis, Nico’s boyfriend,” Percy sighed, “Now let’s try to make sure all these idiots don’t get drunk before the party’s even begun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw, I did some awful art of this scene with Clovis if you want to check it out: https://dontcallmestraightorcis.tumblr.com/post/162056950335/i-like-to-imagine-that-like-me-clovis-says-the


	20. Three's A Party, Not a Crowd... Unless You're Hiding in a Closet

By the time the birthday girl actually arrived to her own party, it was already in full swing.

Almost everyone had arrived a good while before and most of them were tipsy, with a few people already drunk (such as Thalia, who was trying to flirt with a tree). Percy was sure that someone had already gone and thrown up. But thankfully, everyone (even Clovis) was still conscious by the time Esperanza arrived.

She was covered in oil and dirt from a long day at the garage, flanked by the other parents, and laughed happily when she saw what was going on. When everyone heard her laugh, they turned around and screamed out: _"Happy birthday!"_

Leo, apparently too drunk to care about wearing a dress anymore, swayed up to Esperanza, and threw her arms out.

"Happy birthday mom," she hiccuped.

Esperanza laughed and pulled Leo into a hug. It was a good thing that Esperanza was never really one to get angry at Leo for such things, and had apparently decided to just find it all hilarious.

"Leo, are you drunk?"

" _Tipsy_ , not drunk," she slurred.

"Why don't I believe you?"

" _Shuddup_ ," Leo huffed.

Jason decided to slip in and pick up Leo and take her away before she could get herself into trouble. Leo whined and pathetically hit his back a few times, before giving up and letting him carry her.

"Sorry about him, and happy birthday Esperanza," he called out.

"Thank you Jason," she said with a laugh.

"...Since when has Leo been wearing dresses?" Emily, Frank's mom, asked.

Esperanza shrugged.

"No idea...suits them better than me though."

"Think he'd be interested in having some more? I have a ton of old dress that don't fit me anymore see, and they're too small for Frank as well."

Esperanza turned to face Percy and lifted an eyebrow, as if he had all the answers... which he actually did, for once.

"I'm sure Leo would love some more," he said, "And happy birthday again Miss. Valdez."

"I've told you before Percy, call me Anza."

“Alright… Anza. Now give me your shit and go enjoy yourself.”

She handed Percy her bag and jacket, only to immediately be surrounded by everyone else. Percy shook his head and headed in the house to put Esperanza’s stuff in the closet. But when he opened the closet, three people fell out. Surprisingly, that wasn't the first time Percy had been in this situation, and he doubted that it would be the last either.

“ _Fuck_!”

“ _Shit_!”

“ _Goodness_!”

Lying there on a pile on a floor were a dishevelled Hazel, Sadie and Lacy. The three of them groaned and sat up, and Percy just snickered. The three of them always seemed to find the worst places ever to try and find some time alone, and Percy wondered if the idea of getting caught was a kink of their's or something.

“Hi Hazel, I see you’re back from your school trip. Enjoyed?”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Hazel hissed before looking up at him, “Hi Percy, and yeah, it was okay.”

“Goddammit Jackson, you’re such a dick,” Sadie huffed.

Lacy abruptly stood up, face bright red, and pretended to be really interested in her shoes. She was still a little shy around Percy, and no doubt getting caught with her girlfriends was incredibly embarrassing to her… but Percy couldn’t help but find it funny still.

“Hello Percy,” she said quietly.

“Hey Lacy,” he laughed, “Now would you three mind moving? I gotta put these away.”

Sadie and Hazel gave him a dirty look as they walked past, pulling Lacy along with them. Percy never expected those three to get together, but he then again, he had never expected half of the things that had happened in his life.

“You need to check it beforehand, but I think the spare room is empty,” Percy called out after them.

Hazel whipped around, a massive smile on her face.

“Really?”

“Pretty sure.”

“ _Yes!”_

Hazel and Sadie smirked and once again grabbed Lacy, dragging her up the stairs with them. He watched them go and put Esperanza’s stuff away, making a mental note to tell everyone that the spare room was definitely out of bounds for now. At least with those three, even if someone did walk in, it would probably be to them just cuddling or making out.

When he walked back, Esperanza had apparently escaped everyone’s grasp and was sitting on a bench with Sally and Emily, chatting away happily. Nico was curled up on Clovis’ lap, both of them out for the count, Calypso sat on Drew’s lap as she fixed her girlfriend’s makeup, and Silena too was happily sitting on her girlfriend’s lap while she recalled some funny story. Piper sat beside them on a chair on her own, half listening to them, half watching Leo as she drunkenly danced around the garden with Frank. Rachel too had decided to start dancing, and Reyna smiled as she tried to stop her partner from swaying too much and falling over. Meanwhile, Jason was awkwardly hovering by the grill, watching the others.

Percy decided to put him out of his misery and joined him.

“You doing okay Jay?”

“Yeah… just a bit tired I guess.”

“Didn’t you get any sleep last night?”

Jason looked away and rubbed at the back of his neck, blushing a little. Percy had a feeling that the answer to his question was definitely a ‘no’, and hoped he was the reason. There was nothing else that could have really distracted Jason last night except for Percy, after all,

“Y-Yeah, I totally did,” he insisted.

Percy took a step closer, putting a hand on Jason’s waist. He watched Jason jump a little and listened to the way his breath hitched, and grinned.

“Sure you weren’t distracted by something? Maybe… someone?”

Jason looked up, and Percy let himself fall for those sky blue eyes all over again. He moved closer again, just a little more, praying to every god that he could think of that he wasn’t making a big mistake. A hand was gently placed on Percy’s hip, and he watched Jason’s lips turn, becoming a smile.

“Percy?” Jason whispered.

“Yeah?”

“I-“

“Percy, where’s the fucking vodka? I need to get drunk, fast!”

Percy scowled and pulled away from Jason to glare at Annabeth. Was this karma for earlier? If so, karma was a dick.

“In the kitchen,” he yelled back.

“Thank you!” Annabeth said. She returned a second later with a whole bottle of vodka in her hand, scowling. “When are you putting the food on?”

She leaned against the wall, sunglasses on and shoulder tense. She looked even more irritated than usual and he wanted to ask why, but he knew she wouldn’t answer in front of Jason.

“Now I guess,” he shrugged.

“Thank god.”

While she took off the lid to the bottle, Percy leaned towards Jason and said:

“Mind getting Grover for me?”

At least he would have a few seconds to ask Annabeth at least, and Grover could take over worrying about Annabeth while Percy cooked.

“Um, sure,” Jason replied, looking confused.

He walked away, and Percy immediately turned to Annabeth.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong Percy, I’m fine.”

“You’re lying Annabeth.”

“Just let me get drunk, I’m not in the mood for this.”

“Too bad, I’m setting Grover on you.”

“You _dick_!”

“You cockblocked me, so deal with it.”

Jason returned with Grover a second later, who immediately slung an arm around Annabeth’s shoulders and began pulling her towards the others. Thank god for Grover, Percy thought.

“Uh, is she okay?” Jason asked.

“No, but hopefully Grover, vodka and food will cheer her up.”

“Sounds like an... _interesting_ combination.”

“You think _that_ sounds like an interesting combination? Just wait until you hear about Rachel’s favourite snacks then because oh boy, does she have a _very_ peculiar taste in food.”

“Alright, hit me with it _Green Eyes_.”

“You might not want food after this.”

“Bet you I will.”

“You’re on _Blondie_.”

Perhaps Percy wasn’t going to get another chance to kiss Jason for a long while, but at least the strange flirting was fun.


	21. Grover Is A Master Cock-Blocker

After Clovis announced “If life gave me lemons I’d scream because life isn’t a physical being, how could it give me lemons Nico?”, Percy decided that it was time to go home. Pretty much everyone was drunk and saying things which were fucking with his head, so he thought it best to leave before he started to scream.

He turned to ask Jason if he was coming, only to find that Jason was asleep in his seat. His glasses were balancing awkwardly on the bridge on his nose, and he was snoring ever so quietly, and Percy had to bite his knuckles to stop himself from ‘aw-ing’. 

Percy wondered what he should do for a second before saying fuck it, and carefully picking Jason up. He stole Jason’s keys from out of his pocket and opened the car, gently putting Jason down in the passenger seat. Then he hopped in, and began driving off.

Barely ten seconds later, and Percy’s phone began ringing. It woke Jason up and he looked around confused for a while, before realising what was happening.

“Grab my phone out of my pocket, would ya?” Percy asked.

“Um, sure.”

Jason did just that, and put the phone on speaker.

“Percy?” Grover called out.

“Grover? Did we leave something behind?” Percy asked.

“No but, uh, Annabeth just told me why she was in such a bad mood earlier?”

“Yeah?”

“…You’ve got Jason with you, haven’t you?”

Jason looked at Percy and frowned, no doubt wondering why that was an important fact to Grover and what it had to do with Annabeth’s bad mood.

"I do."

"...Tell me when you get home; I think this is something you need to hear alone."

"...Alright man, talk to you later, I guess..."

"Yeah, bye."

Percy ended the call and tried to focus solely on driving. Yeah right, Percy thought, like that was going to happen.

"What was all that about?" Jason asked.

"No fucking clue, but I guess I'll find out soon."

"Yeah... guess that means that you're heading off home then."

"As long as you stay out of the room during the call, you can come along if you like."

Jason tried to hide his smile, and Percy tried to act like he hadn't seen it. Neither succeeded.

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. We could order a pizza and watch some bad films; it's been a couple hours since we last ate anyway."

"There's more of those types of films?"

Jason looked genuinely distraught, and Percy couldn't help but laugh.

"Hell yeah dude! We haven't even gotten to my favourite one yet! We'd have to a skip a lot since there's like, a thousand stupid sex scenes, but holy shit is it a beautiful tragedy."

"I don't know Percy..."

"We can watch something else if you want."

"...If I watch it, will I laugh?"

"You have no choice in the matter, you have to. And it'll be help you appreciate Nico's humour a bit better since he's always quoting this majestic piece of shit."

"Really?"

"You know how he said 'You're tearing me apart Percy' in that weird accent earlier because I said I liked dark chocolate."

"I still can't believe you said that," Jason sighed.

"Fuck off."

"Anyway, that's from the film? Just what the fuck is that film about? And what was his accent supposed to be?"

"No fucking clue."

"What? You watched the film, shouldn't you know those two things?"

"I should, but I don't."

"What?"

"Thinking about it doesn't help. It just kills your brain," Percy said, "So do you want to join me in this hilarious layer of hell, or not, Jason Grace?"

For reasons Percy could not explain, using a Grace's full name immediately activated their 'fight me bitch' mode (as Thalia had dubbed it), and Jason was no exception for the rule. After hearing that, he turned to Percy and frowned.

"Bring it on, Perseus Blofis."

"You should be saying that to Tommy Wisau, not me?"

"Who?"

"Our lord and saviour?"

"...Eh?"

"It's an easier explanation than the truth."

Jason began to laugh quietly and grinned widely, staring at Percy in disbelief.

"You're a real confusing mystery, aren't you?"

"I think I'm more like that puzzle you pick up from the charity shop that's got a couple pieces missing, but a mystery sounds more interesting."

"...You sure you're not a poet or something."

"I'm too much of a dumbass to be anything like that," Percy snorted.

"You're not stupid Percy," Jason scowled.

"Says the one who's not a college dropout."

"...So You're not book smart so what? You're smart in other ways."

"I appreciate it, but-"

"Stop the car."

"What? Jason-"

"Stop the car," he repeated in a way that left no room for debate.

"Alright, Jesus!"

Percy pulled into the nearest car park and stopped. Just what the hell was Jason's problem? Percy wondered. He opened his mouth to ask but stopped, face flushing as his heart stopped.

Jason was leaning over the gap between them, kneeling on his seat, and was cupping Percy's face in his hands.

"J-Jason?"

"Perseus Blofis, you are not stupid."

Percy frowned and shot him a disapproving look, trying to ignore the fluttering of his heart.

"...Y-You made me pull over just to say that?"

"You're amazing, why can't you see that?"

Percy gripped onto Jason's wrist - whether to push him away or pull him closer, Percy wasn't sure - and tried to remember how to breathe.

"Jay..."

Jason leaned forward, closer  and closed his eyes. Their noses brushed against each other. Percy took in the obvious blush on Jason's face, and felt like he had to kiss those rough lips or else he'd always regret it.

"Maybe... I can help you see it," Jason whispered, words warm against Percy's lips.

But of course, fate loved fucking with Percy's love life, as Grover chose that moment to call back.

Percy groaned and pulled away from Jason to angrily answer his phone.

"What the fuck Grover?!"

"...I interrupted something, didn't I?"

"Yes!"

"God, I'm sorry man, but I just cant wait. It's killing me here."

"What is it?"

"...Luke got arrested."

"So? What's new?"

Luke was always getting into trouble - it was what he did best - so it wasn't surprising to hear that he'd got arrested again.

"It was trying to kill someone. Ethan."

Percy's heart dropped, and he instantly felt sick.

"W-What the fuck?"

"Annabeth saw the whole thing, s-she was down at the station all morning telling them... Ethan used to buy shit from Luke but stopped a couple weeks ago apparently, and I guess Luke wasn't too happy with it."

"Fuck... how are they?"

"Too drunk to care-" Grover laughed awkwardly for a second before coughing "-I'm keeping her at mine tonight, and I hear that Ethan's staying with Nico... could you come over in the morning? Alone?"

"Course I can... Jesus."

"Yeah," Grover sighed, "...Don't tell anyone, alright?"

"I-I won't."

"Okay... try to get some sleep tonight, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Ditto."

The call ended.

Percy leaned back and breathed in deeply, letting the burn fill his chest and keep his grounded. How the fuck could Luke do that? To one of the kids he used to tutor as well?

He jumped and coughed when he felt a hand on his shoulder, and let himself catch his breath. He turned and saw the sympathetic expression on Jason's face.

"You heard that."

Jason hesitated before nodding. Great, Percy thought, just great.

"Sorry."

"It's fine... Grover always talks loudly on the phone."

"...You still up for pizza?"

"Y-Yeah," Percy said, wincing as his voice broke.

"Want me to drive?"

"Please."

Percy felt himself began to choke up as tears trailed down his cheek.

"Want a hug?"

"Y-Yes."

Jason effortlessly picked Percy up and placed him in his lap, holding Percy close as he cried, and rubbing his back.

"I got you, don't worry," Jason whispered.

"I-I can't believe he-" Percy cut himself off "He was my hero, h-he seemed so good."

It felt like hours to Percy before he calmed down enough that he felt like he could handle separating from Jason, and even longer until they got home. 

As soon as the door opened, Percy was pulled into a hug by Paul. Paul didn't say anything, and honestly, Percy didn't think there was anything he could say.

After some time, Paul pulled back and pulled Percy inside.

“Pizza, popcorn and mindless films?” Paul said.

Percy nodded flopped onto the cough, only to immediately be tackled by Blackjack and Mrs. O’Leary. It was only until the first film finished that Percy realised that Jason had never come in.


	22. Sorry

So yeah, probs not ever going to finish this story...

Reason 1 - I feel like I wrote myself into a corner and overall feel like the last chapter was a mistake, one that I don't know how to write myself out of

Reason 2 - I have no interest in correcting it or continuing to write this version of the story

Reason 3 - I've been working on turning it back into an original story, and I'm more interested in writing and hopefully finishing that. 

So yeah, really sorry... if you wanna read the story it's become, you can follow the link here (https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/127045468-princes-of-nothing-at-all) and if not well thanks for sticking with this story for as long as you did, and for the kudos and comments. And thank you if you do decide to read my original version. I really wish that I felt like I could continue this, but I really can't. Once again, sorry to disappoint, and hope you all have a lovely day


End file.
